Chiefs at Jets - Week 17 - Record: 4-12

I was ready to watch the first and only prime-time national broadcast of a Chiefs game all year, and instead there on the TV was Tennessee-Indy. Ahh, yes, flexed right off the air. They've had the Patriots on prime-time, what, 57 times this year?

Actually, I'd known this game was going to get flexed out back in October. The powers-that-be will hand over their grandmothers to the Janjaweed if it means getting the Patriots on all networks as they were Saturday night. The Chiefs, meanwhile... But who can blame them. It's a no-brainer, showcasing a team that has four times the number of wins on the season than the Chiefs do.

And so it goes. Last night the Pats set the record for wins in a 16-game season at the Meadowlands, and the next day at the very same place the Chiefs let the Jets run right down the field in OT to beat them. The ignomy of it all.

Speaking of the Chiefs and Patriots, here's a goofy stat, just for fun since this is it for our season. Go back three NFL weekends in which the Chiefs won and the Patriots lost. Now if we're talking three deep in which the Patriots won and Chiefs lost, that's two weekends ago. But for Chiefs won - Patriots lost? Here ya are:

One such weekend back (in other words, the last time this happened): Last year, November 5-- Chiefs beat the Rams and Patriots lose to the Colts.

Two such weekends back: End of the 2005 season, January 1-- Chiefs over the Bengals, Patriots downed by the Dolphins.

Here it is, three such weekends back: Middle of that 2005 season, well over two years ago, November 27-- Chiefs beat the Patriots. Since that day, when it seemed surely the Patriots were on the downside and the Chiefs had only bright upside ahead of them, the Patriots record (including postseason) has been 35-7. The Chiefs record has been 16-22. Abyssmally pukifying.

As it is for now, we set our own team record for consecutive losses with nine (and counting as we go into next year). We tied the team record with most losses in a season.

What is it, by the way, with years ending in "7"? Get this:

1967 - We just come off playing in the first ever Super Bowl, and this year we get blown out by a dominant Raiders team. We don't even make the playoffs.

1977 - Arguably the worst Chiefs year ever. We go 2-12 with two head coaches neither of whom are ever heard from again. Need I say more.

1987 - We can't even get good scabs to come in and play well enough for this mess to mean anything. Remember when we hired Frank Ganz to head coach merely on the strength of a phenomenal special teams performance the year before against the Steelers that got us into the playoffs for the first time in eons? Yes, I try to forget too.

1997 - Just as bad, really, as the horribly wretched years in which we lost a lot, this year we win a lot, refuse to give up a second half touchdown for practically the entire season, and then in the playoffs against the Broncos we give up a second half TD that turns out to be the game-winner because Stoyanovich's FG attempt bonked off the upright and later, with seconds to play, Grbac just doesn't see Anders wide open in the flat near the goal line. Okay, yes, I'm being a bit maniacal about it, but hey, I'm a Chiefs fan. It's okay.

2007 - Why say anything more about it? It was all there just now before your eyes.

What a difference a year makes. Remember last year, last weekend of play? We were going gah-gah when our 1 in 16 chance came through and we miraculously squeezed into the playoffs. Ahh, memories of Santonio Holmes diving into the end zone, Joe Nedney whacking that FG through in OT, and of course Larry Johnson running all over Jacksonville.

This year what we've got left is two things that are decent, so I'll leave you for the off-season with them. Hey, in my gruesome curmudgeonly soul is a mildly positive streak...

1. We've got a high draft spot, I think it's something like four or five. That's cool. I must say I have tremendous cynicism about hoping in the draft. Memories of Percy Snow and Trezelle Jenkins fill my mind, as well as visions of stratospheric picks like Tony Mandarich and Ryan Leaf dancing in the air. I just always have this dread we'll get another one of those.

But yeah, can't be so pessimistic. After all we did get a great wide-out in Dwayne Bowe last year, so the very best can happen too.

Finally, the very best thing to just think about until September (and to think about often) is that

2. The Chiefs have and have always had the best damn tight end the world of pro football has ever known. Tony Gonzales picked up the record for most catches ever by a tight end, so at least we can take great pride in that.

At least Santa gave us that nice gift a long time ago. Here's to opening a few more of those gifts in April.

Chiefs at Lions - Week 16 - Record: 4-11

I'm putting this post together as the Chiefs are playing their game. I've never done this before because I'd always waited to comment until all the facts of the day's game are laid out. But really, with our team greatly sucking, the season long in the toilet, it doesn't mean much except that we see who's positioning themselves to hang around next year. I'd imagine there're a whole lot of Chiefs players working to do that, really.

Two other reasons I'm writing this now during game play: One is the very bittersweet memory of the one time I think of the Chiefs playing in Detroit. Do you remember it? 1996? On Thanksgiving Day we paste the Lions to go 9-4. Win one more game and we're in the playoffs. We then proceed to lose to Oakland, Indianapolis (particularly painful since the year before we'd lost to them at home in the playoffs), and Buffalo. We finish at 9-7 and out out out. The second reason is simply that after this game here today, it's off with the family to do Christmas stuff for the week.

So while I do a bit of a running commentary (here in the Chiefs first drive they are indeed looking pretty good--Croyle has deftly completed every pass he's thrown), I thought I'd share with you exactly what I put on my Christmas list to Santa this year. Aagh, just as I speak of our fine Chiefs play, we bog down and Colquitt has to punt from the Lions 39. And he can't even get it out of bounds down there, it's a touchback. So it goes.

Anyway, the list, in order of what I want most:

1. Number one, the most important thing of all--please Santa, please just get us this one thing and all the other things will fall into place,

A new general manager.

(As I write these very words, Lions QB John Kitna gets two long passes--and now, their back with the easy little scamper into the end zone. Det 7, KC 0.)

I will never dislike Carl Peterson for all the fine things he did for the Chiefs. But there is no question we so need a solid football guy who is capable of truly building a championship team and is committed to all things Chiefs. I've never doubted Peterson's penchant for the latter, but there seems to be quite a consensus questioning the former.

We really really need someone who can do the football thing. I don't know if Santa will listen though, because the Chiefs had Jack Steadman hanging around in charge for years and years way after he should've been gone. Santa didn't listen to us then, will he listen now?

2. A bionically reconstructed Anthony Munoz.

To be honest, the way our offensive line has been playing, a plain unreconstructed Anthony Munoz now at 50 years old would probably be just fine. As I pointed out in the last post, if we don't get the finest future-Hall-of-Fame left tackle in this draft we'll be watching a whole bunch of other teams in the playoffs for the next ten years.

3. Brodie Croyle attending a long off-season training regiment with a resurrected Bill Walsh.

There is no question we've got to pick one of those solid O-linemen coming out in this year's draft, but there is one exception to this rule. One exception and only one.

That is if we need to pick up the best QB coming into the NFL.

Our new general manager has got to look very closely at Brodie Croyle and answer this question right now:

Is this guy going to be a Super Bowl calibur quarterback?

I believe Croyle does have the potential, but... Does he have the desire and the temperament to be that guy? If the answer is no, then our first pick should be the best QB available this year. This only works, though, if we're drafting very high, up there with at least the fifth pick or better where the best QB will be there for us.

But here's the crux of the matter. No Super Bowl is won with an average QB. Not even an above average QB. You need a top class guy there. Look at all the QB's who were selected to the Pro Bowl this year. AFC: Brady, Manning, and Roethlisberger. What do all of these guys have in common? They are all responsible for the last, what, five of six Super Bowl titles? Look at the NFC: Hasselbeck, Favre, and Romo. The first two have Super Bowl experience, Romo may very well get it this year.

Again, the question: Within the next three years, will Brodie Croyle be among that bunch?

What is the answer to that question? Chiefs management had better know the answer.

Oh, and just to add, in a span of about four nanoseconds, the Lions block a punt into the end zone for a safety, then their kicker whacks in a 46 yarder to make it 12-0. Good, we're on our way to getting right up there in the draft for that QB if...

My goodness. Three nanoseconds later Croyle throws a pick that is run back for a touchdown. And he gets a personal foul 15 yard penalty against him. Do we really think this guy is in the Brady-Manning class? It's almost as if he is sealing his doom. That is just too much.

More of the list...

4. The baddest, meanest, growliest middle linebacker we can get. This is where we can use a middle-of-the-draft pick to pick up maybe not the best quality guy but the guy who has the loud angry determination that makes things happen in the middle of the defense. How many times did the opponent's offense hand the ball to some guy who rambled right up the gut and over our guys.

Game update: Damon Huard is now in. Did Croyle get injured, or is he just being benched for being miles and miles not Tom Brady? Okay, fine, to give Croyle his due, he is injured. As it is, Huard is moving the ball down the field.

5. A playbook for Herm Edwards with some imagination.

I'm not about to give up on Herm just yet. He is a fired-up, sound-character guy dedicated to winning. But do you get the idea that the other team knows a bit too much about what we're doing out there? We need to mix it up so much more out there, so much more that the defense is palpably disturbed. I just don't ever really see that-- it's almost as if they're smirking out there under their helmets. Do you see this too?

This may require some new coaching blood. In fact, Santa, you look. Do you think we need some new coaches? All right then, add that to the list. Thanks.

6. Other players that I know a new football-minded Chiefs-devoted GM would know how to get.

I'll leave that to him. I won't say at this point I know except for those above-- those are no-brainers. It does seem to me that we do need the following in the mix somewhere:

- Another wide receiver.

- A good coverage cornerback.

- Even more solid offensive linemen. (Whimper--what are we going to do with that line...)

(Woo-hoo! Tony Gonzalez comes through again! Great play to get us down to the Detroit 3, and Jackie Battle pounds it in for the score. And that was with Detroit having 12 men on the field. Hey, we're not totally lame. We're still really lame, but not totally--I guess there's that.)

- Speaking of which, we will be needing a tight end to replace Tony when he retires, but the way he's playing that may still be another year or two down the road.

- We need a reliable long-term kicker for the first time since Nick Lowery. We have had such horrible luck with kickers, and for years we've tried to fill this with retreads like Morten Andersen-- sure they were okay, even future-Hall-of-Fame retreads, but come on. Problem is, this year we tried real hard to fix this with Justin Medlock, and that was a disaster. Maybe a new GM will find a way to overcome the curse of Odin.

All right! Bernie Pollard just intercepted a Kitna pass and rambled all the way back deep into Detroit territory. Hey, a bright spot in all this-- it seems we actually do have decent young safeties.

(Had to go run an errand so I missed what happened in an around the half, but from what I see here: Good!-- we got a TD just before the half, to Jared Allen again. Bad-- their back shoots right off tackle and rambles 53 yards to set up a Lions FG. Where's that mean growling Ray Lewis guy in the middle? Oh, we're getting him for next year? Awright! Thanks, Santa!)

Finally, to polish off my list to Santa,

7. A healthy and happy Larry Johnson.

I'd like to think that a full off-season of recuperation from the foot injury will be quite beneficial, and all that retooling of the offensive line will make him happy.

So, here late in the 3rd quarter, we get something going then get stopped at the Detroit 35, down 22-14. Will Herm let Carney try a 52-yarder? Let's see, let's see, no, he's going to go for it on 4th and 15-- just like Herm, what am I thinking.

And we get the first down when a Detroit guy gets a defensive holding call. Whup, now we're going backwards again. Penalty, sack, pass for no gain, and it's 4th and 14. Herm goes for it, and Huard connects with Bowe for a touchdown! How about that. It's a game again.

And the two-point conversion, whaddya think, another pass to Jared Allen?... Nah, we just try it to plain old boring Tony Gonzalez, a pass batted down at the line.

Two-minute warning, it's 3rd and 15 at our own 29. We just need the FG.

And Huard throws to Jeff Webb? What's he doing that for? Now it's 4th and 15. And then incomplete to Bowe, thuh end.

There ya go. Not blaming Huard because it is the whole package, he can't do it all. Are you listening, Santa? As it is, we're in better shape come draft day, so that's one little package that's nice to get. Let's hope that when we open it in April it'll be something really good.

As it is for right now, I'm off to enjoy Christmas. The best to you and yours.

Titans at Chiefs - Week 15 - Record: 4-10

Would you believe it. The Chiefs finish 2-6 at home. Never in the 16-game schedule has that ever happened to a Chiefs team. (Back when it was 14 the Chiefs actually had three 1-6 seasons at home, can you believe it? And one of them, the 1974 one, was coached by Hank Stram!)

I don't need to write more about how bad this team is. Brodie Croyle got another learning experience today. He's got skill, but no discipline or experience. A decent drive in the second half was marred by three holding calls-- that tells you how bad our blocking is. Sure we don't have Larry Johnson, but so what. He didn't do squat when he was around because no one was there to open things up for him. But this is a tired story.

The defense-- earlier in the year I took pride in thinking of them as Transformers. Back then they did decently at figuring out the opponent's offense then stopping them cold. Now they're just getting it from the other team, who is transforming their offense to take it to us later in the game. We actually had the Titans at the half, up 14-10. Then we give up that typical big play touchdown pass, they add a few FG's, our offense sputters (ho-hum) and that's it.

So as we lose our seventh straight we're in a better position to get a nice draft pick. And we'd better get the best damn offensive tackle there is. This can't be a "Trezelle Jenkins-whupps-that-didn't-work-out-oh-darn" pick. It must be a Jonathan Ogden-type pick. If our new left tackle isn't that kind of guy, you can kiss any chance of even remotely looking at a Super Bowl any time in the next ten years a very heartfelt goodbye.

Oh, and just to add, last time the team lost seven straight within a single regular season? Do you know when that was? Good, you have a good memory because

It never happened.

Just so you know, we lost eight straight from '75 (four losses to close that season) to '76 (four to open it).

So yeah, hang your hats on that one Chiefs fans. First time with seven straight losses - single season. That counts all the abjectly horrific 70's and 80's years.

I wonder how many more hanged-in-effigy Carl Peterson figures there will be this week? How many will it take for Chiefs ownership get a clue?

Chiefs at Broncos - Week 14 - Record: 4-9

Is there any question now that this one of the worst Chiefs teams in history? Last time we lost six in a row was sometime there in the 70's. I don't remember. And ya know? We aren't even as good as 4-9. The only game we really had was the Bengals game. We got a generous ref's call to help us against the Vikings, we got the Chargers when they were down and had a rare good blast of luck in the second half of that one, and we barely eeked by a horrible Raiders team who later dominated us. Really, we should be 1-12. Too bad we aren't, then we'd get a better draft pick.

So I should briefly offer an apology that in earlier blog posts I ever actually thought we were better than we were. Typical home team gushing, I guess. I can't be faulted for that. But, sorry anyway.

Earlier this week I ruminated about our woes and thought about Willie Roaf, and how we just didn't plan for his retirement. How could we not have done that when he was with us for, what, three or four really solid years after what was already a stellar career, and then after he very predictably leaves the game, we try to replace him with Jordan Black. Either way, this horror can only point in one direction.

Carl Peterson.

Coincidentally, my uncle emails me and tells me that Monday the Kansas City Star had a full spread on how "King Carl" must go. Later I web-referenced that epithet and came across Jason Whitlock's consideration of Mr. Peterson. Not flattering. At this point,

I think I agree.

I pondered all this a bit more: What in blazes am I doing holding any further admiration for the guy, after thinking about the one thing that should be the great flowing feather in his cap? All the division titles and playoff wins and Super Bowl appearances the Chiefs have had since he's been here?

Um.

From my count here they are:

Four division titles in the twenty Peterson years ('93, '95, '97, and '03). Three playoff wins (last one in '93--only two teams, the Lions and the Bengals, have gone longer without one). And a grand total of zero Super Bowl appearances. Please note that this is with a team that could arguably be considered the very best AFC team through the 1990's. And run that by me again, how many Super Bowl appearances in that time, Carl?

Just for comparison within our division, San Diego is not much better than us (4 division titles, 3 playoff wins, one Super Bowl appearance), but that is partly because they too had Marty Schottenheimer for a while blowing playoff games.

Oakland has been better (4 division titles, 5 playoff wins, and a Super Bowl).

Denver is tops by far (5 titles, 9 playoff wins, 3 Super Bowls--two of them for championships).
Maybe that makes it more fair that Denver should paste us today. I should add for the record that I mercifully missed this one. I was at my Dad's for a Christmas-oriented visit. Came home to peek at the NFL.com results and was just not surprised.

41-7. Still disappointed, but way not surprised.

I did look at the play-by-play record there on the web, and I'll just share this thing I saw, a single thing that brilliantly shows how horrific we are.

In the middle of the 2nd quarter we have a 4th and 12 at the Denver 32, and the game is still within reach. We go for it. You've got to be kidding me. Here's the thing.

We get the first down! Yay! A first down! After a 4th and 12th! Yowwie how great is that! What an accomplishment!

It's all we've got!

Oh, and that Dustin Colquitt was out there a lot again. That's good, he should be getting a lot of work in should he be picked as what will be the only Chiefs player in the Pro Bowl.

Chargers at Chiefs - Week 13 - Record: 4-8

At least we have a good punter. Really, Dustin Colquitt was booming kicks, even against the wind. Awesome.

Oh, and we have a really good defensive end who can make spectacular touchdown catches at the side of the end zone once every 47 games.

Other than that, this team is a mess. How 'bout if we just go over it, since we've got some blog space here and all. Let's start at the top.

Herm Edwards. My uncle emailed me the other day and mentioned something I hadn't thought of, and that is the offensive coordinator. As you may know I pay no attention to what's going on during the week, it always just generally depresses me. So I didn't even think the OC should be in the hot seat, but it makes sense.

Thing is, the OC is only an extension of the HC, and that's Herm. I'd always liked Herm and don't really dislike much at this point. But my uncle is fed up with him. He wants both out.

He's got a good point.

This offense just doesn't do anything imaginitive, novel, or even just mildly dynamic to keep the other team scrambling. Okay, so Jared Allen caught a touchdown pass. That was wonderful, it really was a kick to see that.

But this should be a complete embarrassment to the offense when the DE gets your team's only touchdown.

And this was with Tony Gonzalez having a spectacular game himself! But then, that's another thing. When your TE gets ten catches on the day, your offense has problems.

Yes, Dwayne Bowe has a great future ahead of him, but (a) he's still inexperienced and (b) he has so little around him to keep defenders off his back. Kennison is too old, Parker can't run routes, and Webb just looks like a body in a Chiefs uniform out there.

At QB we just have to wait for Croyle to develop. Sure that's promising, but it means nothing to us now. Because of Croyle's back injury, today we went back to Damon Huard, and he was mostly, well, Damon Huard.

Our running game looked like it could be carried for a bit by quick little Kolby Smith, but even he can't overcome the woeful awful wretched (steel your gag reflexes yet again) offensive line. Sure it suffered some injuries, but what difference would it have made? Sure we can't run the ball with that, now we can't pass either (our QB was sacked seven times, intercepted something like three or four times).

How about the defense? Eh. That's about what you could say about it. Once in the year I thought it would be pretty dang good, but now it's just "eh." At the beginning of the year they'd give up a bit in the first half then shut 'em down in the second. Seems now that's reversed. I think I saw a stat that said in the last five games we haven't allowed a TD in the first half. Guh?

But really now. Last week we couldn't tackle Justin Fargas. You think today we're going to tackle LaDainian Tomlinson? Gimme a break.

As it is, that's five straight losses (four of them home games!), something we haven't done since 1979, Marv Levy's tenure. Yeah. First time since then-- not even in the poor Mackovic or Ganz years did we do that.

So, yeah, maybe I should just appreciate Dustin Colquitt and hope he makes the Pro Bowl. At least for this year.

Ee-yack, how sad is that, that that is all we've got.

Wow. Look at that. Three "that"s in a row, in one sentence. How often does that happen? About as often as Jared Allen scores an offensive touchdown?