2013 Chiefs Draft - the Dog or Cat Version

Ever see that contrast between dogs and cats that's gone around the web in Facebook posts and the like? You know the one. "A dog's brain: 'I get to chase after the ball -- MY FAVORITE THING!' 'I get to go for a walk -- MY FAVORITE THING!' 'I get to have dinner -- MY FAVORITE THING!'..." Then there is "A cat's brain: 'These upright walking people still seem to have it in for me. I must continue to work hard at being amused when they dangle string in my face while I plot my escape. That square-headed one particularly dislikes me, maybe I can drive him crazy by doing very odd things in the litter box...'" You know.

Well, this Chiefs offseason and draft situation has had me alternating between my dog brain and my cat brain.

Here's my dog brain.

"We got a proven winning coach in Andy Reid -- MY FAVORITE THING!" "We got Alex Smith a proven No. 1 draft pick dude to play quarterback -- MY FAVORITE THING!" "We got Eric Fisher with the top draft pick so now Jamaal will run wild over defenses and our QB will have days to spend in the pocket -- MY FAVORITE THING!" "We signed Dwayne Bowe to a long-term deal when it seemed he was lost -- MY FAVORITE THING!" "Everyone will be healthy and ready to play come opening day -- MY FAVORITE THING!"

My cat brain:

"We are the one team in all of NFL-anything, ever, who needs a drafted and developed quarterback and for the first time in -- what is it, 57 years? -- there isn't a franchise guy there for us. So we have to spend two high picks to get another 49ers QB. Haven't we heard that song a thousand times before? We could've very much used those picks. And with our number one overall pick we get a tackle. Great. We already have good tackles. What we need is D-line help, and we desperately need a middle linebacker. Our best are Tamba and D.J, and both of them are gettin' up there in age. And everyone says Jon Baldwin is all that, but ya know? I haven't seen it yet, have you?"

Now, just so you know, my cat brain does get the best of me. This is precisely why I know nothing about what we did in the draft except that we got Eric Fisher. Couldn't avoid it, when you're the team with the No. 1 pick overall it tends to get into the news cycle. Beyond his name, I don't know a thing about him.

And other picks? Haven't the faintest. Were we able to trade Branden Albert and get those high picks back? Dunno, because either way my cat brain starts to kick in.

Saw a news tease about the "grade" your team got. Oh that's rich. Love that. Before my sports celibacy I'd be riveted to whatever "grade" some football dweeb would give the Chiefs draft. If it was an "A" I'd go "Damn straight," and when that Chiefs draft class proceeded to generally suck it'd only make me mad. If we got anything less than a "B" then I'd sneer and then get really depressed and then later get even more depressed when they were right. And really, no pundit wants to be so mean to a team to give it less than a "B" so if you got a "C" that meant your team really sucked in the draft. I'm sure the 2009 draft earned us a C-, what a joke. That draft was a definite F minus-minus-minus.

So yeah, sometimes my dog brain keeps me eagerly looking forward to this season. But my cat brain keeps me grounded knowing that it's best just to watch on September 8 and see what's what.

That's when we'll know for sure.
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