Chiefs 2008 Preview

Thought I'd put in a word about our Chiefs before this one begins. This is the week everyone's laying out their picks, and I juuuuuuust don't think a whole lot of people are expecting a lot from this team.

As you may know I pay no deliberate attention at all to anything about the Chiefs or pro football at any time other than that 12 to 3 CST time slot on Sunday when I watch the game. While some may wonder why anyone should then pay any attention to this blog, I feel I offer a unique perspective. So that my commitment is not questioned, I should add that I do the complete sports celibacy thing not because I don't care as much about the Chiefs, but that I've come to understand that I feel too much about them.

Hey, I'm still doing this blog. I'm still going to watch every game.

So to preface our valiant attempt to remain at least a tinch relevant, I thought I'd just share what's on my mind however much about the Chiefs that is.

The last time I saw anything of substance was that we drafted Glenn Dorsey. I know nothing about anything else we've done. Oh, except (just to be honest here) I did see we traded Jared Allen to the Vikings. But who do we have? Who do we not have? Did we even sign Dorsey, and is he even healthy enough? If he is would that matter? This is much of why I don't pack my brains with depressing things not having to do with the game itself. If it's great stuff, like Dorsey looking like a stud during exhibition play, then my hopes are dashed when we don't win the Super Bowl because of it. If it's crappy stuff like he's still hurt or some other awful thing, well, there ya go...

This summer I happened to see a scrolling list at the bottom of an ESPN screen one time--I don't know what the context was--someone had something on the TV in their home, and my eyes couldn't avert themselves. Sigh. It was the "Power Rankings" ESPN had put out for the 2008 season. Number one was the Patriots, then came a bunch of other good teams, and I kept watching the numbers go by there across the bottom of that screen, yearning for the Chiefs to show up soon. 15, 16, 17... Nope. 23, 24, 25... Still not. We settled in at number 30.

Yay. At least we weren't 31 or 32.

So we get to play the Patriots outta the gate. In Foxboro. (Or I should just say "in their place" because I dunno, I haven't been following it--weren't they supposed to move into new digs somewhere?) At least we have nothing to lose. If we get slaughtered no big deal. If we win it's a rapturous miracle.

I thought too that maybe we'd be on national television this Sunday on CBS, but not. The BFFL (Brett-Favre-Football-League) has got to show the New York-Miami game. And I can understand that, really, who wants to watch the Boston Massacre all over again. The Patriots are riding a 19-game regular season winning streak with a horrificly putrid perfect-season wrecking Super Bowl loss shoved right up their rectum.

I kind of envision the Chiefs and their current 9-game losing streak as the picture that the starving lion has in the thought bubble over his head as he gazes at the limping gazelle calf in front of him. You know the one: fancy china dinner plate upon which rests a generous portion of gazelle slowly roasted in honey glaze with rice, steamed vegetables, and attractive garnish.

Oh what fun.

So yeah, we can confidently say that we're in a "rebuilding phase" before we've even played a down in the '08 campaign. I'd heard from someone that we'd actually stockpiled some draft picks, and whatever happens that can't be bad. Let's just hope Carl Peterson is successful in this, what should be (whimper) his final attempt to redeem himself. Check back in about three years.

Until then, bottoms up!