Sunday, December 25, 2011

Raiders at Chiefs - Week 16 - Record: 6-9

Remember Christmas Day 2004? The Chiefs and the Raiders, at Arrowhead, a wild back-and-forth affair that ended with one of the best Christmas gifts a Chiefs fan could ever have. Down 30-28 with a minute left, Dante Hall takes the kick-off and splendidly scampers deep into Raiders territory so we can kick the game-winning field goal. Final score: Chiefs 31, Raiders 30.

It was a nice Christmas gift to have at the close of a miserable season that year when we went off to lose too many games in really stupid ways. Well, yeah -- sorry. You're right. What other kinds of ways do the Chiefs lose games?

We got no such Christmas gift this year -- and it's at the end of a season that was typically stupid.

Okay, okay, it's Christmas, I shouldn't be so Scroogely.

It was nice that Dexter McCluster finally got untracked and zipped for the yards and yards and yards he should be zipping regularly after getting a screen pass -- this one in the last minute of regulation to set up the tying score that gave us a chance to win. Okay, okay, so there was something nice.

But there wasn't much else.

For one thing we just don't have that "X Factor." Yes, for as overrated as some say Dante Hall was, he was still a gamer, a go-to-guy, a leader -- and I'm sorry, he was an exciting player who did get the job done on the field when it needed getting done.

In contrast, one play typified the way the Chiefs play football today -- at least the way the offense plays football. We were driving at about midfield, and QB Kyle Orton had to scamble out of the pocket and run. He got the first down, except... you know what happened.

The ref put the ball at an awful spot.

4th and half-an-inch. Literally, it was half-an-inch.

So they give the ball to Jackie Battle, who on virtually every one of his runs he chugs for about two more yards after getting hit. He really does, the guy is a genius at that.

But here his mind is telling him, "All I need is half-an-inch."

He gets a quarter-of-an-inch.

Grrreat. The Raiders zip on down, kick a field goal to make it 13-6, a score that really allowed them to win it in overtime.

The point is, why isn't this team thinking about just getting tons of yardage -- as many tons of yardage as they could get on any play they run? Every other play Battle has the ball he's getting three, four yards -- why not now? And if the other team has 57 guys lined up right at the point where the runner is going to try to get the first down, then why can't we do other things, such as, ohhh, pass to the guy who should be wide open and get the first down that way?

It's because we just don't have that "X Factor" mentality. We just don't.

Maybe this is a good thing, however.

After the wonderfully splendiferous win over Green Bay last week, I started getting scared the Chiefs would go ahead and make Romeo Crennel our permanent head coach. Yikes. Sorry, but we need a true solid leader-type to take the troops into battle. I love Romeo Crennel, his defense is the best thing about this team, but he's not head-coach material.

Clark, Scott, please please please please please please please please please please please go insane to find the next Bill Parcells or Bill Belichick or Bill Walsh -- why are all the great coaches named Bill? Well there ya go, start looking at guys named Bill, but not Todd or Herman or John or Frank or Gunther or any of the guys who are just not going to get us to the promised land.

Fact is with Romeo at the helm this game was a disaster. Yet again we got close to the end zone and failed time after time after time. We had a complete breakdown on the special teams line when we got two field goals blocked. And the penalties just piled up again.

The Raiders themselves were getting penalized themselves out of their rear ends -- but we were matching them penalty for penalty, how wretched was that. (The Raiders, BTW, are on pace to break the record for most penalties by a team, set by - ::sigh:: - the 1998 Kansas City Chiefs, who had over 150 for the season. That's about ten a game. I simply did not know that -- still, eerrr-rahlphff [gratuitous upchuck noise]. 1998 was the year I stopped paying attention to sports cold turkey -- now I know some of why...)

So yeah, the best thing for Chiefs fans to do in this last game is endure -- I know it will be very difficult -- to endure the Chiefs looking miserable in a final season loss to the Broncos. This will ensure a number of things:

1. A better slot in the draft so we have a better shot at getting that future Hall-of-Fame quarterback we so desperately need.

2. Chiefs management seeing that Romeo Crennel is not the guy and Bill Exceptionallyterrificprofootballcoach is.

3. The Raiders will be booted from the playoffs. I mean, come on, how bad is this. If the Chiefs beat the Broncos and the Raiders win, the Raiders go into the playoffs. I mean we can put up with a lot -- hey, we're Chiefs fans -- but this goes beyond the pale...

Now yes, I will never root against the Chiefs, ever, in any game. But the fact is this.

A Chiefs win helps the Raiders.

The humanity!
_

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Packers at Chiefs - Week 15 - Record: 6-8

I really don't think there has ever been a Chiefs game I have witnessed in which I was going so far up and so far down with my range of emotions than I was with this game.

And I will tell you right here -- and you have every right to refuse to believe me in the most abject way possible --

I really did feel we were going to win this game.

For some reason, through the entire week, I just had this feeling deep in my gut that we were not only going to make this close, but we were going to flat out win it. I just felt that the team would rally around the new coach. That late in the season at home we could take down a top team like the Packers. That Kyle Orton was going to show that he could still perform at the top level of QB play in the NFL.

We got the kickoff to start the game, and I was flying high just watching our team do something it has just never done, not for a long time.

They were executing a long, grinding, sustained, solid, sure-ground-gaining drive.

And one of the things I thought about was how much this just wouldn't've happened with Todd Haley in there. It just wouldn't've. I don't think there is a single Chiefs fan who did not share this exact sentiment. Romeo Crennel put together the ideal game plan to take on the Packers. It really came down to one simple thing, and it worked beautifully.

Keep Aaron Rodgers off the field.

Through the game we had clock-chewing drives, giving Rodgers many fewer opportunities to do his magic.

Another thing that blew me away was something the announcers said right outta the gate. The Packers were something like 31st, I think it was, in total defense.

Guh???

An undefeated team with the 31st ranked defense in the entire league??? They added that the Packers have always taken advantage of turnovers. Makes perfect sense. Cough up the ball and Rodgers gets more chances. In fact Orton was with Denver when the Packers blasted them earlier in the season, and he threw three picks in that game.

Well, for one, we had no turnovers on the day -- again, very controlled, time-managed offensive football.

And another, Orton was magnificent today. Something close to 20 for 30, about 300 yards, hitting his receivers at clutch moments, letting them get good separation -- how splendid was that to watch for once. And he threw to ten different receivers, how's that for decision-making at quarterback. With his leadership the offense as a whole pounded out over 400 yards.

400 yards? The Chiefs? When was the last time you saw those two things written so closely to each other?

But then there were those emotional drops. My insides were a roller-coaster through this one. The guy who roughed the punter when we stopped the Packers in their first series. Give Rodgers a second chance?! Are you insane?! Let the guy kick it to Alberta, Canada for all we care! And how about all the times we simply could not finish the drive. How many 18-yard field goals did Succop have today? Four? And that one time we had 2nd and 1 from the Packer three and couldn't even get a first down on three successive plays! Aaaaaagh! (There goes my heart, doing that huge loop-da-loop...)

Well, there's work to be done there.

But our defense. How great were they today. I do think a lot of it was the offense being on the field long enough to keep them rested so they could fire out when they needed to be in there. They had a handful of sacks on Rodgers and kept him flustered enough all the other times.

A lot of that was due to our fantastic defensive back work. Wow. Again they showed they are one of the best. And that's without Eric Berry in there. Yes, I'd love to see more push on the D-line, and more aggression from the linebackers. Good thing Derrick Johnson is having a career year to keep things decent in that area.

No question this is a wonderful win for us. Can't help but be reminded of the Steelers win a couple years ago. But we can't say too much about what this means in the grand scheme of Chiefsdom. It really doesn't mean a whole lot except that we showed the NFL world that the Chiefs can play football.

For now, that's pretty dang fine.
_

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Chiefs at Jets - Week 14 - Record: 5-8

There was a commercial aired during the first quarter of this game that featured a dais upon which stood a really good pro prospect smiling in front of several camera flash bulbs going off. He was being handed a check by some exec who said to him, "You'd better cash that now before you get hurt ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." Sitting just to their right was an actor playing his coach, and he looked exactly like Todd Haley, I swear. At that moment he had the most harrowing look of dread come over his face as he started thinking of all the bad things that could indeed happen to his prized new player.

I don't know what the commercial was selling or anything of that, something about some financial firm accepting photographs of a check, I don't know. But one of the coach's graphically portrayed portends was this guy walking into the street looking at his cell phone at the exact time a huge bus approachs to plow into him.

What was amazing was that this guy looked so much like Todd Haley, it just made me think. That bus is not imaginary, but real. And it has a name. All Chiefs fans know it.

The Curse of Odin's Revenge.

A major feature of the Curse is our inability to do anything meaningful against AFC East teams. The Curse's most gruesome feature is something I've written about at length in this blog, our 0-9 playoff record against old AFC East teams since our last Super Bowl win and the 1970 merger (0-3 to both Miami and Indianapolis, 0-2 to Buffalo, 0-1 to New York). In fact, the highlight of this game for the Chiefs was the one-minute highlight reel the CBS broadcast team showed of the Chiefs win over the Jets in the '69 divisional playoff game. Yes, that was the last time we have beaten an AFC East team in the playoffs -- 42 years ago.

The Curse has reared its ugly head this year. Here were the scores of all our games against AFC East opponents:

Week 1 - Buffalo: 41-7 loss.
Week 9 - Miami: 31-3 loss.
Week 11 - New England: 34-3 loss.
Week 14 - New York: 37-10 loss.

Let's see, that's AFC East team 143 points, Chiefs 23. AFC East team 18 touchdowns, Chiefs 2.

See, the NFL is supposed to have this thing called parity. Really. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd love for the Chiefs to blast every opponent they have, but if I can't have that I'd at least like them to be in every game. And the fact is the whole operation is designed to make it that way.

There is just no way we can have the luck we have against the AFC East and it not be because of The Curse. I'm just waiting for the day when that thing will finally be lifted somehow, by some miracle. Maybe it will be when we do make that splendidly wonderful decision in the draft to take a QB very high and he's actually very good. Wistful ::sigh:: there if you didn't catch it...

But here's something else that I just have to make mention of.

Remember that old NFL Films clip of Marv Levy yelling "You overofficious jerk!" on the sidelines? I'm pretty sure it was when he was with the Chiefs. All we were doing today was yell that at the television screen.

There was that one drive that got the Jets their last touchdown, and practically the entire drive was penalty yardage against the Chiefs. About half were mildly earned, but the other calls, just wretched overofficiating. The most atrocious was the pass interference call against Kendrick Lewis on their wide receiver who replays showed actually was the one who pushed Lewis to get into position.

If you read the relatively new book Scorecasting, make sure you read the section on why home teams generally always have the advantage in all pro team sports. There are all kinds of presumed reasons: home teams have the fans, the comforts of home, not having to travel, all that stuff. But none of it really pans out, and the authors looked at it all with a precision examination and guess what they found.

It is the reffing.

And it isn't necessarily the refs being evil or anything, it is just their decision-making is indeed colored by the atmosphere, the pressure, and in some cases just responding to the cues from whatever powers-that-be about who should be winning.

Now, I'm the first to refuse to blame a game on the refs. Not because we shouldn't make excuses for bad ref calls or even that it all evens out (because it never does for the Chiefs, really, it doesn't), but just because they're human, and that's cool, that's fine. They even use instant replay. (Even though that never really helps the Chiefs either, as all Chiefs fan know, but I'll save that for another post.)

What we do need to cover for whatever reffing there might be is the drafted and developed top quarterback. The Willie Roafs and Will Shields back on the O-line. The Buck Buchanans and Curly Culps back on the D-line.

And yeah, we still need a coach who can call the right plays at the right times in the right games and just have his team damn well take care of business. I mean, I will tell you, I was actually cheering Todd Haley for getting that unsportsmanlike conduct call against him for jawing at the refs because they so deserved it. They really did. You go Todd, let 'em have it. And I do mean that, this isn't one of those facetious making-fun kind of things. He boldly did what was necessary to stand up for his team when the refs were being, in the famous words of Marv Levy, "jerks."

But really. This is Todd Haley's legacy? This?

We should just flat-out have a football club from the front office on down that does the job.

And is no longer crushed by The Curse.
_

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Chiefs at Bears - Week 13 - Record: 5-7

The kind of luck the Chiefs have was shining in all its brilliant awfulness when brand spankin' new quarterback Kyle Orton bounded into the game, only to have a defender destroy his right index finger while he was throwing a pass on his very first play as a Chief.

You.

Have.

Got.

To.

Be.

Kidding.

Me.

I almost shook my head right off my body. This is great, just great. Todd Haley pulls Tyler Palko, who however not-that-great he is talent-wise is still playing his heart out, and then has to put him right back in and tell him to lead the charge again against one of the NFC's best after unceremoniously being sent right to the bench.

Turns out Palko was a big part of getting us the one play we needed to win the game. For all the awful awfulness of the typical Chiefs luck, we got a stadium-full of luck on the last play of the first half. We're watching this thing in our man cave screaming at Todd Haley (as we often do, naturally), this time to just try for the field goal and get those three points on the board. It'd have been a 56-yard attempt for Succop, but at least our chances would have been better than a desperation Hail Mary pass.

In what has to be about the most total reversal of fortune you can get after something like the Kyle Orton incident, Palko jukes and dukes to allow our guys to get down the field, and fires that thing perfectly, right into the middle of the expected crowd in the endzone. Widely celebrated Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher bats it down, right into the waiting hands of Dexter McCluster.

Touchdown Chiefs.

How about that.

The Chiefs win it on a Hail Mary.

Granted it wasn't at the end of the game, but it turned out to be the only touchdown of the game, and the difference for the Chiefs victory, final score, 10-3.

Talk about luck going our way for this one.

The crack-up was that the announcers were talking about this being the first touchdown for the Chiefs since 1793. As if this play really relieved our offensive barrenness. Sure it won us the game, but come on, should it really count in ending this drought of 57,002 straight drives without a touchdown? I just don't think it should.

Please. We're still pathetic on offense. Come on, when was the last time we've scored two touchdowns in a single game? The Oakland game? Are you serious? No, wait, it was the San Diego game, but still. We only got two in that game, and so what. That was still ages ago.

Again mention must be made of our defense. Yes, the Bears lost their really good back Matt Forte to injury early, but then we lost Eric Berry eons ago, so we're even. Whatever the case, our defensive guys were beast yet again. The stat of the day was our seven sacks on their quarterback. How on earth did we do that?

Could be their poor offensive line play. Could be the effects of that conditioning that's been helping us all year. Could be the inexperience of their second-string QB. Could be our inspired play. Could be superb play-calling by Romeo Crennel. Whatever the case, we kept them to a single field goal for the entire game. Now its a total of six opponent points allowed for the past six quarters of NFL play.

And that is with an offense that had no more than four plays in a series far too often. That is, our defense was always on the field. Without much rest they still played with heart and with skill.

Wow. Could Glenn Dorsey and Tyson Jackson be bringing more to the table than we think? Oh, I can't get my hopes up too much. Except Jackson had his first sack of the year today! Yay! Except that was his first?

We still have a long way to go.
_