Tuesday, December 30, 2008

A Letter to the New General Manager of the Kansas City Chiefs

Dear Chiefs General Manager,

I would like to humbly welcome you to your new job. Thank you for taking on the challenge of rebuilding a storied franchise. I know you will give your full devotion to this noble cause. As long as you wear the Chiefs emblem proudly you will have our 100% support.

I’d like to begin by asking you to understand that there are many genuine and thoughtful Chiefs fans who’ve been extraordinarily disheartened by the way things have been going with our team. While the devastating losses are difficult, we can endure them as long as there is a commitment to excellence throughout the organization.

We’ve had reason to be proud of what our team has accomplished, particularly in those years when Chiefs football was synonymous with excellence, notably the decades of the 1960’s and 1990’s. What is quite encouraging is that this team does show great promise in spite of its horrendous won-loss record over the past two years.

I trust that you will make terrific decisions as our new general manager, I’d like to take a moment and simply share with you thoughts from a fan about what may help this Chiefs team. I am sure you are aware of these things, indeed you certainly know much more than any of us do. I’d still like to share what I think are our top priorities, ranked from least important to most important. Of course all are critically important.

8. A receiving core to compliment Dwayne Bowe. The Chiefs have never really had a dynamite set of wideouts, and while it was nice to have had people like Eddie Kennison, wouldn’t it be great if we can get someone to compliment Bowe on the other side? We can’t expect Tony Gonzalez to last forever, I mean, does he even have another year left in him?—If he does, great! This may not be such a big deal if Mark Bradley and/or Devard Darling can be solid next year.

7. A solid kicker. Huh? A kicker? What’s with that? It is no secret that the Chiefs have an oppressive kicking curse hovering over them. I think it started right after Jan Stenarud ruined the Vikings with his leg in Super Bowl IV, it has carried through our very best—Jan himself (in ’71, the infamous Christmas Day loss to the Dolphins), Nick Lowery (in ’91) and Pete Stoyanovich (in ’98), all of them missed critical FG’s that lost us playoff games—and it continues to this day, to wit: Two years ago we wasted a critical fifth round pick on Justin Medlock, and last year we signed John Carney as a fill-in and who made the Pro Bowl this year—with a different team. Oh that we’d have a reliable long-term kicker who’d just once—just once!—bang in a clutch field goal in a playoff win. Oh what joy!

6. A head coach who calls full, confident games and finishes. What’s this, way down here sixth in the order of priorities? Really, head coach should be higher, but I personally like Herm Edwards. He’s a gamer, he wants to win, he wants to surround himself with good people, he relates well with the players. I’d like to think he’s willing to learn more about what it takes to consistently win. But really, this is your call.

5. A mean middle linebacker. Not just any mean guy but a steaming fuming raging guy with a killer instinct that cannot be quenched. Last year I asked Santa Claus for a maniacal Ray Lewis-type guy, but I must’ve been bad that year or something. He sure didn’t get him for us this season. Really, we could use a whole bunch of these kinds of guys who know how to shut down a team’s running game. And for Derrick Johnson, the guy has tons of talent, we’ve all seen it, somebody needs to go down there and light a fire under his rear end. That’d be great.

4. Tamba Hali, Tank Tyler, Glenn Dorsey, and Turk McBride to sit in front of hours and hours of game film featuring Bruce Smith and Reggie White mixed with stirring, rousing music. I’d like to think our guys there are going to be pretty good-- all top prospects, solid picks, young guns, but guys who just didn’t do a whole lot out there this year to stop opposing offenses.

3. An offensive line that stands people up. This is axiomatic, I know, games are won in the trenches. But as all of us Chiefs fans know so well since we had such a kickin’-aye line for so many years, we have really got to have that Jonathan Ogden guy anchoring the line for gobs and gobs of years. I’d spend the third pick in the whole draft on that guy, but only if he ends up doing real Jonathan Ogden-type work for us.

2. A world-class quarterback. Please please please please please please please get us a word-class quarterback. Please draft and develop him for the duration of our team’s imminent success. Please do not pick up a guy from the scrap heap who may have a couple quality years left. And please don’t hang our hopes on the gonzo play of Tyler Thigpen—while fun to watch, it won’t get us rings.

Finally, the most important item of them all…

1. Respect through the league and the professional football world. Really, it’s about time we got what so many other teams have been privileged to enjoy, a rank of status from which people see us as the class of the profession. While it is definitely our turn in our division—the Broncos, Chargers, and Raiders have all had much more overall success through the past several years than we have—the only way we can get that is not because “it is our turn” but because our commitment to hard work and smart football is felt and shared from water boy to owner. Yes, it’s a cliché, but it sure would be nice to have it.

I just urge you to continue to take pride in your efforts and in achieving that highly respected status for professional football in Kansas City, even if the owner is not where you think he should be in all of this. Clark Hunt is still new to it all, and it'd certainly be great if he becomes a truly class owner in the mold of an Art Rooney or Wellington Mara. No matter what happens, we are hoping you will take the baton and do what you know you do best.

Chiefs fans will be looking forward to 2009 with eager anticipation. Thank you for joining our team!

With greatest respect,

A Chiefs fan
_

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Chiefs at Bengals - Week 17 - Record: 2-14

I want to begin by emphasizing that this blog is about looking at each Chiefs game in depth. I simply want to ruminate on paper (or in “cyperspace” if you will) on how the Chiefs are doing game-wise, and the novel feature of this blog is that I pay no attention to anything else outside of the game.

I say this because I am fully committed to this purpose, though I haven’t been addressing much in-game stuff lately. Last week I barely said a word about the game itself and my feelings about it. Oh there were many such feelings, but my focus recently has been on that one single item that determines what precisely it is about any given game that makes up what we actually do out there.

That item is, of course, how strong the leadership of the front office is.

With that in mind I do want to continue that thread, even at the expense of an more thorough rendering of the actual game today with the Bengals. I must, however, share some important thoughts about the nature of my approach to the Chiefs and blogging on them.

Giving attention to the game itself and nothing else is a tactic that has its benefits but it also has its liabilities. One is a confession I have to make here, to be fair to Carl Peterson. Last week I made a very brief comment about Sylvester Morris being a wasted pick. It turned out to be, but not necessarily because of the GM. It was because Morris had been seriously injured during his first season.

The benefit is that I don’t have to endure hearing about the inane things people like Carl Peterson do to wreck my team. Last Sunday I’d stretched the bounds of my sports celibacy to look at the story about how Peterson treated tackle John Tait a few years ago. In some respect I was not wholly accurate about Peterson’s inability to draft a solid lineman. Well, it seems he did draft a few decent linemen, one of whom was John Tait. Peterson then proceeded to treat Tait like crap, inspiring him to take a hike and later help the Bears get to the Super Bowl.

As I read this story—thinking about how fortunate I am not to have known about it only because it would’ve aggravated me so much—I had to wonder: How much of this filth has been going on in the Chiefs front office? How much exactly are the Chiefs reviled by other teams and their top people? Furthermore—and most disheartening:

Exactly how many Chiefs players are grudgingly fulfilling their duties as Chiefs only because the league keeps them in Chiefs uniforms and punishes them severely for speaking out against a team they too revile?

This is the most harrowing question of all. I would otherwise shrug it off as a fleeting thought except for two critical considerations that do not make me feel good at all.

One is our record. At 2-14, we’ve demonstrated without a doubt that we are indeed one of the very worst teams in the league. This latest loss was a pathetic showing against another sad sack team, hardly worthy of a mention even though, as I did say, this blog is all about the game. (31 total rushing yards on the day? What’s new? Finally breaking the record for fewest sacks by a team in a 16-game season? You want to talk about that?) As it is we’ve got the second worst record in the entire NFL—thank goodness for the Lions! But just like the 0-16 Lions we lost to every single team we played on the schedule. (We did defeat Denver and Oakland but lost to them also.)

The most telling index of how good or bad something is: the scoreboard. We can talk all we want about how neat this is or how spiffy that is, but if we’re not flat-out winning ball games then there is something really really wrong.

I don’t think Herm Edwards is the problem. Getting rid of Carl Peterson was a big plus and I do know a new GM could blow Herm out in a nanosecond. But I actually think Herm is good for us. Bear with me now. What I’m more frightened of this that second thing that gets me.

It is a thought that I never thought I’d think before but perhaps, just perhaps others have. It may even be sacrilege for me to speak of it, and that may be why anyone else who dares to think it does not share it so widely.

To set this up, think about it. We had one of the strongest teams in all of professional football in the 1960’s, when Lamar Hunt was bold and brash and led the cutting-edge AFL. Along came the 70’s and 80’s when we were lucky to have years of mediocrity because Hunt simply dropped the team in the lap of know-nothing-about-football Jack Steadman for years upon years upon years.

Carl Peterson came in, bold and brash and fresh from building a quality USFL team in Philadelphia and used his touch to resurrect the team into arguably (with apologies to the Buffalo Bills) the best team in the AFC through that decade (ahem, at least in the regular season). But then we discovered just how awful Peterson was long-term, partly because Hunt continued his avowed “hands-off” policy regarding football and player matters.

Can you see the common thread here? No, it is not Herm Edwards, upon whom everyone seems to unleash their fury. But why look down at the paintings and furniture in the house to see where the termite damage is? No you’ve got to look up, in the rafters, where the wood is wettest and lightest.

Up, past the general manager position.

You see where I’m going with this.

Heaven forbid I should say anything against the Hunt family, because while Carl Peterson was not lionized, Lamar Hunt was. And rightly so. Nothing will take away any earnest Chiefs fan’s respect for him. And Clark Hunt is right now just feeling his oats for this kind of thing. That’s cool.

But this supposedly noble “hands-off” position the Hunts have prided themselves on has got to end. It is not so much that the considered positive here is that an owner is hands-off, but that he should be hands-off in areas he should leave to the right people who best do those things. Proclaiming with a smile that you are “hands-off” may actually be an implicit confession that you just don’t know what in blazes you are doing up there.

I pray this is not the case.

I really hope Clark knows what he is doing and does the most important thing he could do: Be very hands-on and get the best damn general manager there is, and then do one vitally crucial thing to be even more hands-on, and that is to simply

Make damn well sure he does his damn job.

Some will say that this should not be about money, that the Hunts were always making sure the Chiefs made the family a buck. But making money is actually a testament to how good a job you are doing and the number one thing that gets the Chiefs money— for whoever gets it even if it all goes to the Hunts— is

Winning football games.

The Hunts may have told whoever the GM was, “Make us money.” I don’t think the GM’s of the past ever volitionally sabotaged the Chiefs just to put a dollar in Lamar Hunt’s pocket, I just think they were sadly deficient at doing what it took to win football games. Oh Steadman and Peterson were pretty good with marketing and promoting and selling the team but what was the thing that was missing? (Do I have to write it again?...)

Fielding not just a winning team but one respected as one of the finest organizations in the NFL.

Sure someone can say “What about the 90’s and what about 2003 and what about the miracle end of 2006?” The NFL is designed in such a way that anyone can have special things happen at any time. But a 2-14 record is proof that we are woefully deficient at even remotely being in any position to capitalize on that parity. What is amazing is that this year the AFC West was prime for the taking even if we had a mediocre team! Everyone in it sucked. How sad it is that we sucked the most.

Why belabor the point.

The good things we can look at now include the fact that we’re getting a new GM. This is the most wonderful Christmas gift of all. Whether the gift is gold stardust or lumps of coal will remain to be seen, and that will be mostly a response to—(whimper)—how much Clark Hunt can convince the best guy available that this is a terrific opportunity. Watch and see. I won’t be doing that, as you know, because I just can’t stand the repercussions of such things; it’s bad enough to think of the implications now as it is. But here it is, here’s the million dollar question:

Is the Chiefs’ reputation so soiled that the first 15 guys we want refuse to take the position and the 16th one who we hire is just a reincarnation of Jack Steadman?

If that’s the case, please, go ahead, you can kill me now.

As for the team itself goes, it does look like there is great promise. There are the Dwayne Bowe’s and Jerrod Page’s and, yes, thank goodness for Dustin Colquitt. Oh, and I just saw that Brian Waters made the pro bowl again. So we’ve got one pretty dang good O-lineman, yay!

And again, I may be completely totally pig-headedly wrong about this, but I still think Herm Edwards is the best thing about this Chiefs team right now. He has done everything he can to hold this dilapidated shack together through the season. He hasn’t done the best game calling, I know, and he hasn’t closed out games the team should have won, but, hey, looking at this team it could have just as easily been the case they shouldn’t have been in any of these games to begin with.

I plan to have a final post-mortem closing post soon—a letter to the new GM regarding the things I see the team needs. Should Clark Hunt truly become a strong respected owner, we’ll get it done. I’m going to hope for the best and write with that in mind.
_

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Dolphins at Chiefs - Week 16 - Record: 2-13

A while ago I laid out the three parts that need to be in place for a team to truly contend in the NFL. These three are the most important, far above all the others. I must now qualify that and put something far above even these three parts. That one part of any pro football team that must be exceptional is nothing other than the team's

General manager.

My revised importance-of-parts priority list, then:

1. General manager.
2. Offensive line.
3. Defensive line.
4. Quarterback.

I've always thought any team is only as good as its front office. And sure enough what we see now on the football field is a direct result of the complete ineptitude of the Chiefs front office, led for the past twenty years by Carl Peterson.

Peterson resigned last week to the raucous cheers of all of us who knew that he'd just utterly lost it when it came to building a football team. Today's typically depressing result is a microcosm of that failure: once again another brave performance for three quarters followed by a wretched meltdown at the end of the game. This was, and in every game it always is, only the product of the people who put the team out on the field.

To be fair, Peterson was a godsend for us after the nightmare Jack Steadman years. He had a miracle touch guiding the team to great success in the 90's only to have Marty Schottenheimer's playoff curse unravel it all. And to give Peterson credit he was gifted at pulling guys from hats like Trent Green and Priest Holmes. And I must tell you one of the sweetest memories I have of any Chiefs thing ever was when he yanked all-pro cornerback James Hasty out of the grasp of the Raiders' Al Davis.

But, sadly, take a look at Peterson's real record of drafting and developing. Everyone seems to think that because he practically stole Will Shields and Donnie Edwards he should be lionized, but really, his talent-evaluating skills were just not that great. For twenty years we had at best a mediocre record for evaluating of talent when that is the most important job for a GM.

He was especially weak at getting players for those three key parts of a team. Let's look at each one:

Offensive line and defensive line. I put both of these together because Peterson could not draft a lineman if his life depended on it, on either side of the ball. Our disposal bin is filled with first, second, and third round picks that have been worthless. Yes, yes, I know all teams have their draft duds, but sorry, but you can't have anywhere near a contending team with the great number we have had.

On the O-line there was (wince) Trezelle Jenkins, Victor Riley, and Joe Valerio. On the D-line there was (gasp) Eric Downing, Ryan Sims, and Junior Siavii--all of them super high picks that really needed to be there doing the highest quality bone crunching for long periods of service. This is not even to point out (which I'm going to do anyway, of course) that we wasted super-high picks on people like Sylvestor Morris when they could've been used to get those linemen who'd perform.

Interestingly, his two draft picks in this year's first round were DT Glenn Dorsey and OG Brandon Albert, still feeling their oats out there. How ironic that would be if these two should actually develop into anchors for our team on both sides of the ball. I'm still high on them, I'm still hoping, Carl, there is some measure of redemption, I really am.

Quarterback. This has been an unmitigated disaster for the Chiefs in the Peterson era. Did you remember that Mike Elkins and Matt Blundin were second round picks? Second round! In fact Elkins was Peterson's second Chiefs pick of them all in his first draft. Thank goodness his very first was Derrick Thomas.

I imagine he felt he could continue to bring out old 49ers QB's, but even when they played great (and each one did for a time, they really did) you could not build a solid lasting team around that. Even Trent Green went way past his time and played well, but even he was going to burn out sometime too soon for us to get a rhythm for genuinely sustained contention.

Now we're pinning our hopes on Tyler Thigpen who looks to me like he gleefully loves playing jungle ball out there making us all jump out of our seats watching his gonzo play, but is hopelessly lost when it comes to incisively leading the critical drive when we need it.

So, a fond farewell to King Carl. We cannot deny that you gave us great fun in the 90's, but now as we look back that may have actually been a curse of sorts because it lulled us all into a false sense that you really could manage a contending franchise.

As it is, you leave on the week in which this Chiefs team made it official: securing the worst season record-wise in its history.
_

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Chargers at Chiefs - Week 15 - Record: 2-12

How about just a smorgasbord of the wild crazy things that are banging around in my head after this madness.

Not too many times does a team lose a game up 21-10 at the two-minute warning. I know I could go on and on about how such a crappy team as this could allow such a thing to happen. I won't because what I see is a team working like crazy out there to win games, yet their luck is just awful. Yes, our defense should have stopped them, but you can't fail to secure an on-sides kick and expect a young defense to just jaunt back out on the field and not be at least a bit tired.

The key was our damned offensive line, again. Yeah, I'm layin' on them, as it seems I always do. But I'm sorry, you can probably see it is justified when twice on third and inches we can't get that clutch first down that would prolong drives so the opponent wouldn't even have a shot at getting two quick scores in under two minutes of gametime left.

The officiating was not the best either, and while we got helped by some cheesy calls that went against the Chargers, we got clobbered the most when it sure seemed like Jamaal Charles had that first down and we got a terrible spot. Those are the kinds of things we needed. But, oh well...

The key is that we're just not a team that can get the job done. Tyler Thigpen, for his part, threw the ball okay and did those spiffy quarterback draws again, but with 31 seconds left and a great chance for us to get in field goal range, he ran around on the first play getting only a few yards and losing tons of time. Our kicker then was handed a very makeable 50 yard shot at the win, and that went wide left--alas, that kicker curse continues.

I've been reading David Harris' The Genius about 49ers coach Bill Walsh. My goodness, the number of times his team had awful losses like this one when rebuilding, it almost crushed him before he could do anything. I don't think Herm Edwards has the intellectual gravitas as Walsh, but I know he has the systematic and emotional wherewithal to put a team together.

See, that's really the key. I like Edwards' "spread offense," that's great and all, but it is clear from The Genius-- and it is obvious from looking at this Chiefs team-- that a coach with a brilliant game plan is not nearly enough.

Ya gotta have the guns. And all the pieces need to work together so finely. This is axiomatic.

I think Edwards can accomplish this, really, but this young team must come together and Carl Peterson has got to do the best damn job drafting and developing he's ever done.

So yeah. Peterson is getting his chance handed to him, with a shot at high picks in each round. Hey, we still have a shot at the top pick--hyeah, we're still in the hunt for worst record in the NFL. Of course the Lions have that distinction at this point, still 0-14. Don't think we've got a real shot at it? In case you don't recall, the Lions have lost 21 of 22.

Last year they were starting out okay, then reeled off six straight losses before beating, yes, you got it, the Chiefs. Now they're 0-15 since then. So yeah. The Lions last 22 games, all losses except that one. They can certainly beat the Chiefs.

Here's to just hoping yet another crappy demoralizing loss is inspiring and not destroying. Maybe the early 1980's Niners story can be the early 2010's story for the Chiefs.
_

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Chiefs at Broncos - Week 14 - Record: 2-11

What else but a truly crappy season could produce such a truly crappy game as this one. Sure it was more likely we'd lose at Mile-High anyway something like 47-6, so at least we played them close. (And yes, I know it is "Invesco Field" and a totally different stadium than "Mile-High"--but that's just commercial crap the media gods want to ram down our throats.)

But the unsavory fact (as if this is new at all) is that we need spectacular plays like Thigpen rolling out and hitting Tony Gonzalez diving at the pylon for us to get any scores to even have a remote chance of being in any games. This was a typical crappy Chiefs game. We get a nice 17-7 lead

Only to hand the game over to the defense.

We have young and still bumbling around D-linemen. We have no linebackers, really, none to speak of. Those guys are huffing and puffing just fine, they still cannot make an opposing offense really work. Derrick Johnson has been exceptionally mediocre, and Donnie Edwards is valiantly (God bless him) trying to capture his old form.

Our D-backfield is our strength, without question, but they simply cannot carry the load. There has got to be pressure up front, and as just noted, there is nothing of the sort. We had yet another game with no sacks. After we went up 17-7, their QB Jay Culter just picked us apart, not throwing an incompletion for something like 57 straight passes. I exaggerate, but what difference does it make.

Down by just a touchdown with effectively a sliver of time left on the clock, we put all our hopes in the legs (whimper, the legs mind you, not the arm) of Tyler Thigpen, who on fourth and goal from the five runs all the way down to the Denver one.

Yet another crappy end to a ballgame in what is easily one of the crappiest seasons in Chiefs history. Just so you know, we're still on track to make it the crappiest of them all--oh joy. The record worst for the Chiefs was 2-12 in that glorious 1977 season. For a 16-game season, we're way ahead of the pace for that one: 1988 at 4-11-1.

Wait. What am I thinking. The worst season we've ever had was, ahem, last season. 4-12. I think then we've pretty much set the Chiefs record for the worst consecutive seasons.

Joy.
_

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Chiefs at Raiders - Week 13 - Record: 2-10

Wow, how about that. We've doubled our season's win total in only one game. What an accomplishment!

Well, we did beat the reviled Raiders at their yard, which I think is something like 17 straight wins over them at Oakland. I dunno what it is, but I don't remember when we last lost to them there. That's cool.

Tony Beyondamazing Gonzalez had another phenomenal day, snatching out of the air anything near him. Tyler Thigpen ran those awesome QB draws again, something I wish they'd do much more often. And our defense. Fine work, even though it was against a very weak Oakland offense. I think we held them to one or two first downs in the second half.

Awright!

We are not suddenly anywhere near even a remotely contending team yet. We won by the difference of a botched silly Raiders fake field goal play that was a gift touchdown. I'd also heard this from an announcer: The Chiefs have six sacks on the year. Six. If that remained our season's total, it would be a record for least number of sacks by a team in a single 16-game season. Remember when Derrick Thomas had seven sacks in a game against Seattle back in 1990?

Of course you hope you didn't remember that record-setting day, because on the last play of that game Dave Kreig shimmied out of Thomas' eighth sack to throw the game-winning touchdown pass against us, effectively keeping us from having home field advantage for a critical playoff game that we lost by a point.

Hey, at least today we got a nice win against our greatest arch rivals.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Bills at Chiefs - Week 12 - Record: 1-10

(I am actually putting the post in for this game on Sunday morning November 30th, simply posting over an earlier post that mentioned I would be away for game day November 23rd.)

I have been on vacation all week in Florida beholding the grand Walt Disney World simulation spectacular. We spent every waking moment with lots of family, cramming into every sensory orifice--well, maybe not every sensory orifice--all the gleefulness that place wants to cram into sensory orifices.

Whupp, I should make a correction. We spent every moment doing that except one. That was the minute I happened to peek at the bottom scrolling score update on ESPN Sunday afternoon and noted that we got pasted by Buffalo, 54-31. I saw a few things about how our boys did, but after that, nothing else.

Annnnd, I'm not looking at anything else. I just don't know how this latest debacle happened, and I'm just not that interested. Oh yes I'll be in rapt attention to the Raiders game up next, but the Bills game--whatever. Just one less pathetic outing I have to mull over.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Saints at Chiefs - Week 11 - Record: 1-9

There's something in me that is pleased with losing games, because then I think the odds of us winning games later will be better. I know that is competely fallacious thinking, for the only thing that determines whether you win or not is not odds but whether or not you play better and smarter than the other team. If we have a crappy team in perpetuity, then we'll lose every game no matter how many times another team has beaten us.

"And the Saints have already won 57-thousandeth straight over the Chiefs--and there it is, win number 57-thousand-and-one in a row over Kansas City..."

Depressing.

Oh, I don't know how many times the Saints have beaten us in a row. I think this loss makes at least two in a row because I'm pretty sure we lost to them four years ago too.

My point is that we have a very bad team, at least right now. How much confidence do I have in our ability to build a winner later, even with a really high pick in next year's draft? Not a whole lot. Ergh.

I really work not to do what I'm going to tell you I feel like doing because it is insulting, I know. But right now the feeling of doing it is still there. So I'll share with you what I want to do without actually doing it--so remember, I'm just telling you I feel like doing this.

What I want to do is say:

"I'm sorry Tony Gonzalez, Dwayne Bowe, and Larry Johnson that the team the front office put together around you fine players is such a crappy one."

Okay, I'm not saying that in any way, I just confess that I do feel like saying that.

And why, you may ask, is Larry Johnson in that mix when he's been such a prick lately? Well, he is still a great runner, but you can't do diddly with the offensive line we have. Besides, it isn't about what kind of person you are, it is what you do on the field. I am not excusing Johnson in any way, I am genuinely glad he seems to be coming around. Who you are is way more important than how many touchdowns you score.

It's just here in this blog I'm talking about how many touchdowns you score.

And what's with everyone suddenly thinking Tyler Thigpen is the next incarnation of Terry Bradshaw? "Got a strong arm, very mobile, I think the Chiefs have found their guy."

Huh?

This game showed Thigpen doesn't even have close to what it takes to lead a team, much less lead a team as bad as this one. Sure the badness of the team helps make him not-so-good also, but really, do you really think this is the guy to take us to the promised land in how many hundreds of years from now that may possibly be? Sure there is the thought that Thigpen needs to get his licks in, I understand that. But come on, you really think this guy has Brett Favre in him, Dan Marino in him, Troy Aikman in him? Really? You do?

For the game today, it was nothing really different from all the other sorry affairs. We get a nifty early lead, and then our injury-riddled defense runs around a bit, trying real hard-- which is a good thing, yes. But what's new.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Chiefs at Chargers - Week 10 - Record: 1-8

Another awful wretched putrid last minute loss. What's new. The interesting thing about this one was that after we'd scored a last-minute touchdown to come to within one point, Herm Edwards decided to go for two. Foolhardiness or bravery?

It was brave because we really have nothing to lose. If we get it we win. If we don't we're still on track for that No 1 pick in the draft. I know "No. 1 pick in the draft" is no guarantee of anything, but ya know? At least it's something. It was brave also because it keeps this team fired up, feeling like we're going for it, working valiantly to win not just settle for a tie.

It was foolhardy because the play we ran was just pathetic. It just seems to me that we should have at least a couple of go-to solid plays that work the best for our personnel, just for the needed two-point conversion. Now the bootleg option Tyler Thigpen ran may not be too bad, but, well, our execution of it was awful. Their contain guy wasn't even touched, keeping Thigpen holding the ball long enough for their backfield to flood the endzone. Party over--more abject discouragement.

While that last minute drive to get the touchdown was exciting, I don't know what was going on with the reffing and the reviews. I don't know the exact rules, forgive me, but when Mark Bradley certainly caught that low pass, the refs reviewed it on their own. Doesn't this require the San Diego coach to call for a review, and if upheld (which it was, clearly) then they're charged a time-out?

This roiled me simply because the refs ruled Dwayne Bowe out-of-bounds on a spectacular catch which replays showed he'd caught. Where was the gratuitous replay review for that one?

This was all made up for by Tony Gonzalez' amazing touchdown grab at the goal line to finish the drive. In between two defenders the ball popped out and as he was sandwiched he snatched it back to make the score.

In all the pure rottenness of this season, it is sweet to continue to see Tony Gonzalez rack up the record numbers. It is fun as all-get-out to see him break this or that record or move up on the something-something list for receivers. I'm always saying in my heart, "Yeah, that's our guy out there, that's a Chiefs guy being thoroughly Hall-of-Fame, yeah..."

The thing that kills me is that Carl Peterson just couldn't get him a ring--I mean, sadly, the Chiefs have never even come close to getting him that ring. Errgh.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Buccaneers at Chiefs - Week 9 - Record: 1-7

To be honest with you, this one was no big deal. We are so hopeless this year that these kinds of losses just don't mean a whole lot. Sure I'm disappointed we supremely blew this one. Every Chiefs loss is crappy, especially these kind. It was bad enough last week, it happens again this week. How many times do we have to endure really crappy last-minute last-play kinds of losses like we did so often last year? Are they going to build our character or just wear us down? For next year we simply can't afford the latter.

The key though is that defense. When you're up 24-3 your defense still has to play. The way they plainly did not tackle, especially on that big play that got them into field goal range in overtime is just inexcusable. Okay, they're a young, weak defense now and we're all certainly hoping they'll get some licks in so they'll be experienced and studly someday, but it wasn't today. No surprise because it hasn't been much of anything all year.

But hey, how about that one notable bright spot, that flea-flicker thing they did with QB Tyler Thigpen catching the TD pass? Sure a good team can't rely on gimmicky plays, but still, it was fun.

It was also good to see that LJ seems to be seeing his behavior for what it is and wants to get back out and play with us. Don't know how much he'll help this year with this OL, but it'd be sure nice to have him back working at returning to his '05 and '06 form, at least for next year.

Maybe then we'll have a line on both sides of the ball that knows what bone-crunching is really about in there, and it's not our bones doing the crunching.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Chiefs at Jets - Week 8 - Record: 1-6

Hey, we almost get a win! Woo-hoo! More positives! Almost a win! The way we've been sucking that's something to cheer about.

Actually, there were some genuine positives in this game. If we had a bunch more Tony Gonzalezes and Dwayne Bowes out there we'd be a Super Bowl team. As it is we just have those two guys so we can get a few nice plays here and there.

Tyler Thigpen, our QB for the rest of the year -- (until, oh, the excitement when we draft that stud quarterback in the draft I can't contain myself!!!) -- actually had a fine game. The TD passes that he threw were right on the money, one to Tony and the other to Mark Bradley who tiptoed the back of the end zone to get the score -- very sweet.

It looked like we were going to beat the great Brett Favre when Brandon Flowers picked him and went the distance to put us up with a few minutes left, but our woeful defense couldn't stop him when he got the ball again, and they finished us off. We had two decent two-minute offenses at the half and again at the end of the game, but couldn't punch it in to win it so we're still in the hunt for that No. 1 pick in the draft oh I can't wait I'm so excited!

Hey, gotta be excited about something in this hopelessly lost season. I shouldn't be too dismissive because our guys did play their hearts out.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Titans at Chiefs - Week 7 - Record: 1-5

At the NFL game website was this tease: "Chiefs, Arrowhead crowd await unbeaten Titans." I thought, that's great. We can have the Arrowhead fans get down there on the field. Still, who'd you think would win? You've got (a) an unbeaten team in the Titans-- and granted, we did still beat the unbeaten Broncos at home-- and (b) not a whole lotta people in Arrowhead anyway.

I'm not going to go into the now-standard "We are a sad, sad football team." I'm just going to talk about the positives.

We scored! Woo-hoo, at least we won't be shutout two games in a row.

Our quarterbacks scrambled around all day. At least they've found out a way to overcome our wretched offensive line--hey, Tyler Thigpen eventually scrambled his way for a 14-yard touchdown run! Woo-hoo!

One of our field goal attempts bonked off the upright. Woo-hoo! That'll be one less of those extraordinarily stupid things that could happen to us in a game that counts. Doesn't it seem the field-goal-off-the-upright just happens to the Chiefs way more than any other team? I think I just have Stoyanovich's bonk against Denver in '97 still shredding my soul.

Sorry, I did say I was only talking about positives here, how few there are. Sorry, I am leaving you with a reminder of one of those real chances we had for Super Bowl glory, eleven long long long years ago.

But wait, positive: Maybe maybe we'll have that teeny tiny chance before the next eleven years is up. That's cool, we just draft that John Elway-Tom Brady-Brett Favre QB, develop him--we can get that done within the next eleven years I think--we're in good shape.

Whups, Carl Peterson is still there.

Oh, sorry again, only positives. Hey, I didn't mention yet-another Brodie Croyle injury or yet-another Larry Johnson gross misadventure--I didn't mention them because this is only about positives!

Yay!

Monday, October 06, 2008

Chiefs at Panthers - Week 5 - Record: 1-4

Ahh, back to reality. In fact, I think last weekend’s win against the Broncos was a dream. It had to be, looking at this pitiful effort. But then again, the AFC West as a whole is purely awful. Is it possible this could be the year when the division title goes to a 6-10 team, thoroughly embarrassing every other team in the AFC, all of which will have gone 9-7 or better?

That team won’t be the Chiefs by any means. So instead of asking for Carl Peterson’s head or whining about the offensive line for the 57-thousandth time, I’m going to proceed with a gluttonous feasting on reality, no matter how hard to swallow. This will be painful, but hey, no pain no gain.

Here’s the truth of the matter.

If the Chiefs don’t get cracking and put on the field a Super Bowl caliber future Hall-of-Fame quarterback, fughedaboudit. That’s about all you need to know. That one word.

Fughedaboudit.

Sorry, but I’m in this to see the Chiefs win the Super Bowl. I’m not in it to watch them play hard by-golly-gosh-whizzaroo, or to see them prance around in the playoffs, or especially to endure their 38th straight rebuilding year.

If they aren’t winning Super Bowls, fughedaboudit.

And the key to winning Super Bowls is to have a great great great quarterback. No, it is not to have a great great quarterback, or to have even a great quarterback, but a great-times-three quarterback. And to show you that I’m not just talking out of my butt, I went to the trouble of identifying every single quarterback who has won Super Bowls for their teams, and then looking as objectively as I could at each one and their skills.

There have been 27 Super Bowl-winning quarterbacks over 42 such games, and for each one I rated them on a scale from 1 to 10. I think my ratings are quite reasonable, and I believe any quibble with them would be about ratings very close around that range, meaning some may think such-and-such is a 7 when I gave them a 6.

Here are my findings, and these are truly not surprising, but they are indeed quite telling. In 21 of the 42 Super Bowls, winning teams fielded quarterbacks who were a 10. That is 10, as in not only Hall-of-Fame quality but One-of-the-Greatest-Ever Hall-of-Fame quality.

21.

I’ll write it out so you can see it more clearly: Twenty-one. That’s a full half of them.

Yes, of course--who were the quarterbacks? They were, in alphabetical order (along with the number of Super Bowl victories they called): Troy Aikman (3), Terry Bradshaw (4), Tom Brady (3), John Elway (2), Brett Favre (1), Joe Montana (4), Roger Staubach (2), John Unitas (1), and Steve Young (1). 21 total Super Bowl wins among them.

This is not to mention the handful of Super Bowl losses they quarterbacked, nor does it include the 10’s from the ranks those who’d never won a Super Bowl, and by my ratings those were Dan Marino, Jim Kelly, and Fran Tarkenton.

To give you an idea of my rating considerations, here were the all the others (* still active with chance to get better consideration as of 2008).

9: (Hall-of-Fame great but not the greatest) Len Dawson, Peyton Manning*, Jim Plunkett, Phil Simms, Bart Starr. 7 total Super Bowl wins.

8: (Near great) Joe Namath, Kurt Warner. 2 total wins.

7: (Very good) Ben Roethlisberger*, Jim McMahon, Ken Stabler. 3 total wins.

6: (Good) Bob Griese, Eli Manning*, Joe Theismann, Mark Rypien, Doug Williams. 6 total wins.

5: (Average) Brad Johnson. 1 total win.

4: (Fair) Trent Dilfer, Jeff Hostetler. 2 total wins.

3: (Poor) No one

2: (Dirt poor) No one

1: (Worthless) No one

Certainly some may argue with calling a quarterback like Trent Dilfer even fair, or going so far as to believe Kurt Warner was in the "near great" category, but that’s cool. Opinions may vary.

The point in all of this is a simple one.

A team that does not have one of the greatest quarterbacks ever literally has a mere 50% chance of winning the Super Bowl. This should be sobering. You could have a team filled with Hall-of-Famers at every other position, but if your quarterback stinks, let me introduce you to the word again: fughedaboudit.

Indeed look at the two guys there in the fair category. And look at the Super Bowls they won.

In 1990 the New York Giants had an awesome offensive line and a quick bruising back in Ottis Anderson. Jeff Hostetler played because Phil Simms (a 9 there if you didn’t catch it, the guy who pretty much got the team there to begin with) was simply too injured to go. Without Simms, the Giants eeked into the Super Bowl when 49ers back Roger Craig fumbled trying to run out the clock in the NFC title game, allowing them to kick a gimme game-winning field goal. In the Super Bowl itself, the Giants rode their line and Anderson to a razor-thin 20-19 win, with great help--it should be added--from Bills defenders who refused to tackle Mark Ingram allowing him to get a critical first down, and the Bills kicker who missed a very makeable field goal in the last seconds.

In 2000 the Baltimore Ravens were able to have Trent Dilfer run the offense because they had a phenomenal back in Jamal Lewis and had an impenetrable defense led by Ray Lewis. In the Super Bowl they got a critical momentum shifter from yet another Lewis, Jermaine, who ran back a kick for a touchdown after the Giants had just done the same. And then there was Dilfer himself, who started the whole thing by throwing one key pass for a touchdown, just one, and that was all that defense needed.

Every other team here needed that super duper Super Bowl quarterback. Every one of them. Someone might argue that these guys were in the Super Bowl because they were already great and that’s why they were there anyway.

Precisely the point.

Think about it this way. Do the same thing with running backs. Go ahead, look. You'd see gobs and gobs of Super Bowl winning teams with mediocre or worse backs. You'd think the guy running the ball the most would be so important, but, well, he isn't. Compared to the QB, the RB is light years less important.

And what about the 2008 Chiefs? Let’s see, about how far do you think they are away from having the kind of quarterback that's required out there leading the charge? About 57 bazillion light years? No, that’s too close, I know. Sorry. I mean, yeah, to be only 57 bazillion light years from having that guy would be wuhnn-derful. As it is…

Okay, enough with the silly hyperbole.

It just kills me to see what I do happen to see throughout the NFL, virtually every other team with at least some guy in there, being the go-to-guy, being the guy they drafted and are wisely developing, getting snaps, getting experience, getting the chance to be that super quarterback. Of course not every team has that. The point is

The Chiefs need to be a team that does have him.

Right now we're only a smattering of games beyond our attempt to run the option with Marques Hagans--whimper...

Is it just our destiny that we can never develop our own guy to be super? You do know, of course, that we never have. Never ever. Len Dawson, Joe Montana, Elvis Grbac, Trent Green, all of them pick-ups from other teams or from somewhere not-the-Chiefs. Our feeble attempts at drafting and building a studly play-maker (can you say Todd Blackledge?) have been disastrous. Every single crappy one of them.

Oh yeah there’s always hope for someone like Brodie Croyle. I do have hope, but with Croyle--sigh... I just don’t see it, not at all. I always hope I’m wrong with this. It’s not like I don’t want him to surprise us all.

But if Croyle doesn’t work out, why would anyone think this Chiefs front office should continue its ineptitude? And I promised I wouldn’t say anything about Carl Peterson. Hey…

Fughedaboudit.
_

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Broncos at Chiefs - Week 4 - Record: 1-3

The Chiefs finally pick up a win! And a convincing win at that! This putrid 12-game winless streak is history!

It was clear today that when you have a team with three extraordinary players at specialty offense positions, there is no way you can't win at least some ball games no matter how weak your offensive line is. These three guys were able to pull Broncos off that line, speading their defense thinner allowing us to get the yards and scores we needed to win.

Those guys were, of course, Larry Johnson, Tony Gonzalez, and Dwayne Bowe.

Johnson was finally back to the way we've all known him to be: Hitting that hole and churning out huge swaths of yardage. Gonzalez' touchdown grab makes me wonder (yet again--you too, huh?) why on earth we just don't throw the ball anywhere near the guy on every play. And Bowe has seemed to commit himself to using every game this season to atone for his opening day dropsies. That's just fine with Chiefs fans.

It helped that Damon Huard was very good and our defense played like the opportunistic Chiefs of the 90's, snatching four balls from the Broncos. That one in which Derrick Johnson stripped their guy and Brandon Flowers swooped in to take it down the Bronco two was a thing of beauty.

It is heartening to note that we aren't as bad as it looked. We're far from a Super Bowl team, far far from it. We still need linemen and that Super Bowl calibur QB, the analysis of which I'll just have to put off until another Sunday.

As for today, our three studly guys on offense carried the day, and how much fun was that.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Chiefs at Falcons - Week 3 - Record: 0-3

The story of this game is actually a contrast of opening days. There was the Falcons' opening day when the Atlanta fans could open their Christmas gift, Matt Ryan, and watch him torch their opponent to inaugurate his progress to Super Bowl calibur QB.

Then there was the Chiefs' opening day. Our third year guy Brodie Croyle gets his chance to develop a bit more through this team's rebuilding efforts, but on the other side of the ball Tom Brady gets his knee twisted in a pile-up sidelining him for the rest of the year. As everyone's attention rains down upon this catastrophe, the Chiefs pathetic offensive line allows a Patriot pass rusher to blast through untouched with one objective in mind, defend the honor of Tom Brady and by default, the entire NFL.

Said pass rusher flies in to sack Croyle, but vengeance is not so easily tamed. He gives Croyle the extra fierce and quite unnecessary body-slam to the turf, putting him out indefinitely with a shoulder contusion. Mission accomplished. If the Patriots must suffer (and today they lost their first game in umpteen times stopping their record winning streak), then the Chiefs should suffer too.

Problem.

The Chiefs are not the Patriots. Their guy goes down and the world has a fit. Our guy goes down and no one notices, or they say nothing because to admit "he deserved it" is a bit rude. Their team will still be great. The Chiefs can only be far worse.

From that comes the second problem, and this is the disease that has infected all of modern major professional team sports.

I happened to come across this story from Newsweek elucidating what's really at stake in these games. Because the Chiefs are the guilty ones for murdering the golden goose, there is no way they can effectively defend themselves against their prosecution. Helped along by an enraged Patriots team, we are doomed to a season, if not many seasons to come, of abject ineptitude.

This certainly makes it seem that I'm saying Brodie Croyle was our savior. I am not. Not even in the teensiest way am I an apologist for Brodie Croyle. Nor am I saying the Patriots are to blame for our woeful condition.

This whole Chiefs team is awful. I do love our boys, but let's be honest. There are ten college defenses out there that would stuff our offense with the OL we have. And I don't even want to put all the blame on them. I thought our young defense would be way better than it is.

The issue is that Croyle should've been allowed his full chance to try. He still may make it out there sometime this season, but his absence for these few games just puts a huge wrench in anything the Chiefs can do that's remotely decent.

That's the contrast between QB's today. Their future guy, Matt Ryan, played wonderfully, while our fill-in guy, Tyler Thigpen, well, just played.

Next week I'll share more about quarterbacks and why they are so important. As for today, it is disheartening to see that even though Croyle has proved nothing yet, our team shouldn't have to be shamed by an NFL and an NFL fandom that seems to think the "bottom line" shouldn't be so desecrated.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Raiders at Chiefs - Week 2 - Record: 0-2

When we play the Keystone Kops, maybe we'll have a chance to win a game. Just maybe. When is that one on the schedule? Week 14? Okay, I can't wait because then maybe we'll be able to break our losing streak. Maybe. I dunno, but maybe...

The streak is now at 11, and all Chiefs fans may want to string up Herm Edwards by his headphones. But give him a break. Granted, what looked like a brilliant offensive scheme bringing in Marques Hagans at QB to shake things up turned out to be just offensive. Pulling Damon Huard for a completely hopeless Tyler Thigpen could easily be seen as desperate, and, well, it was. Desperate measures for an abjectly hopeless team.

The problem is Herm has been handed a team that has been patched together to try to get people in the park, and that's about it. I don't know how much that is working--I haven't seen the latest attendance figures but looking in the stands at the empty seats, I've got a suspicion our reputation for sellouts is a thing of the distant past.

I mean, I'm kinda tired of hearing an announcer cheerfully say this about the Chiefs: "What a great play there made by [FILL-IN-THE-BLANK-WITH-SOME-OBSCURE-PLAYER], a fine pick-up from the [FILL-IN-THE-BLANK-WITH-SOME-OTHER-TEAM-WHO-PAWNED-OFF-SOME-SECOND-STRINGER-ON-US-BECAUSE-WE'VE-BEEN-SO-LOUSY-AT-DRAFTING-TO-ACTUALLY-BE-COMPETITIVE].

There is so much wretchedness to write about this team that why should I even go on. I know I blog to connect with other Chiefs fans and, in these cases, commiserate. Really though, all I'm going to do is say over and over and over again, "offensive line--offensive line--offensive line..." Everyone seems to wonder why Larry Johnson isn't his wonderful past self. Come on, people. When Johnson was great he had people like Will Shields in front of him. Nothing against Johnson, he's still great. But you could have all the best players in the world and if you've got squat up front, then you've got...

This.

So. Herm is just thinking of the future. Looking at who we got. Getting those rookies worn in. This is just a full year of exhibition games.

Yeee.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Chiefs at Patriots - Week 1 - Record: 0-1

There is something in me that considers it my faithful duty to let those who may be a bit unclear about why a team does well or not well why precisely it is that is the way it happens. Oh I admit I'm not right down in there, I don't know all the details, I'm not trying to boast at all about being some football genius. Come on, I'm just a measly sports team fanatic blogging like a nutball just like any other guy with a keyboard.

But I am a passionate Chiefs fan and committed cynic. That means I work real hard to bravely face brutal truths. I've got a job to do dammit.

I will get to what I think the key reason is that we lost this one, but first I cannot refuse to offer something quite positive. Indeed it is wonderfully positive, considering I had thoughts of a 63-0 headache today. Literally I thought it would be that bad.

Instead we took the Patriots right down to the wire. Sure some of our strong performance could be simply because Tom Brady was knocked out early and never returned. But there is tremendous promise in what I saw today.

Tony Gonzalez was his stellar self. New offensive coordinator Chan Gailey did great mixing things up a bit--finally! Our defense did phenomenally in light of how young and inexperienced it is. This rookie back Jamaal Charles showed some spunk. And hey, wow, I can't believe Brodie Croyle had some ganas out there and made some plays. Damon Huard relieved him after a shoulder injury and got us a clutch TD pass.

Two key notes to make here. Yeah, some brutal reality.

First, what's with the inconsistency of Dwayne Bowe? In the first half it was the Randy Moss show, he snagged everything with a pigskin on it anywhere around him. Bowe, the guy with definite Randy Moss-class big-time potential, handled every pigskin thing near him as though he had been dipped in grease. In the second half Bowe wiped some of the grease off, but he's got to get it all off if we hope to have any success at all this season. Really, he's all we've got at wide receiver. We've got to hope we get production from this new guy from Baltimore, Devard Darling--the guy who caught that big-time 50 yard pass to get us down to the New England five yard-line late.

Secondly, ahem. Yes, here's where the brutal truth comes in. Plug your ears if you don't want to hear it, especially since you should know what it is. You should know because it is still the bane of our beloved Chiefs team.

Whimper.

Our poor, sad, woeful offensive line.

We're trying to patch that right side with journeymen and fill that critical left tackle spot with an extraordinarily untested rookie. I will hope the very best for these guys, you know I will root for them with every fiber of my being.

But please allow me tell you what I thought as Darling was galloping for 50 yards with under a minute left in the game. All that was in my head was "Score. Score. Score. Just score the touchdown. You've got to score..." This is because of what I was thinking as he was dragged down just five yards from getting us that game-tying TD. What was going on in my mind? Nothing other than this:

This offensive line won't be able to get us into the end zone.

The key play among the following four was when Larry Johnson was given the ball and was stopped cold. Two, three years ago--wouldn't have happened. Would've been 17-17. Just like that.

With an OL exposed like that, the Patriots only needed to rush a couple linemen and still put pressure on the QB, and then flood the endzone with defenders knocking away anything thrown to two of the finest receivers in the league, Gonzalez and Bowe.

On the whole, however, a pretty decent start to a rebuilding effort that, really, won't start to show dividends for a couple years. We have a lot of young players and the genesis of a super defense, at least it will be fun watching them grow.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Chiefs 2008 Preview

Thought I'd put in a word about our Chiefs before this one begins. This is the week everyone's laying out their picks, and I juuuuuuust don't think a whole lot of people are expecting a lot from this team.

As you may know I pay no deliberate attention at all to anything about the Chiefs or pro football at any time other than that 12 to 3 CST time slot on Sunday when I watch the game. While some may wonder why anyone should then pay any attention to this blog, I feel I offer a unique perspective. So that my commitment is not questioned, I should add that I do the complete sports celibacy thing not because I don't care as much about the Chiefs, but that I've come to understand that I feel too much about them.

Hey, I'm still doing this blog. I'm still going to watch every game.

So to preface our valiant attempt to remain at least a tinch relevant, I thought I'd just share what's on my mind however much about the Chiefs that is.

The last time I saw anything of substance was that we drafted Glenn Dorsey. I know nothing about anything else we've done. Oh, except (just to be honest here) I did see we traded Jared Allen to the Vikings. But who do we have? Who do we not have? Did we even sign Dorsey, and is he even healthy enough? If he is would that matter? This is much of why I don't pack my brains with depressing things not having to do with the game itself. If it's great stuff, like Dorsey looking like a stud during exhibition play, then my hopes are dashed when we don't win the Super Bowl because of it. If it's crappy stuff like he's still hurt or some other awful thing, well, there ya go...

This summer I happened to see a scrolling list at the bottom of an ESPN screen one time--I don't know what the context was--someone had something on the TV in their home, and my eyes couldn't avert themselves. Sigh. It was the "Power Rankings" ESPN had put out for the 2008 season. Number one was the Patriots, then came a bunch of other good teams, and I kept watching the numbers go by there across the bottom of that screen, yearning for the Chiefs to show up soon. 15, 16, 17... Nope. 23, 24, 25... Still not. We settled in at number 30.

Yay. At least we weren't 31 or 32.

So we get to play the Patriots outta the gate. In Foxboro. (Or I should just say "in their place" because I dunno, I haven't been following it--weren't they supposed to move into new digs somewhere?) At least we have nothing to lose. If we get slaughtered no big deal. If we win it's a rapturous miracle.

I thought too that maybe we'd be on national television this Sunday on CBS, but not. The BFFL (Brett-Favre-Football-League) has got to show the New York-Miami game. And I can understand that, really, who wants to watch the Boston Massacre all over again. The Patriots are riding a 19-game regular season winning streak with a horrificly putrid perfect-season wrecking Super Bowl loss shoved right up their rectum.

I kind of envision the Chiefs and their current 9-game losing streak as the picture that the starving lion has in the thought bubble over his head as he gazes at the limping gazelle calf in front of him. You know the one: fancy china dinner plate upon which rests a generous portion of gazelle slowly roasted in honey glaze with rice, steamed vegetables, and attractive garnish.

Oh what fun.

So yeah, we can confidently say that we're in a "rebuilding phase" before we've even played a down in the '08 campaign. I'd heard from someone that we'd actually stockpiled some draft picks, and whatever happens that can't be bad. Let's just hope Carl Peterson is successful in this, what should be (whimper) his final attempt to redeem himself. Check back in about three years.

Until then, bottoms up!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

The Draft 2008

I've really worked hard to avoid paying any attention to the draft, simply because so many times I'd gotten myself all fired up over some guy who turned out to be meaningless. I'm writing now simply to share my thoughts about what's going on today, right now, the draft.

I'm paying no attention to it simply because I still agonize over Percy Snow, taken just five picks before Emmitt Smith. Sure, every team has their Percy Snow. Every single team had a bunch of picks before Joe Montana, but I need the team making the best picks to be the Chiefs, not the Colts or the Patriots.

I do happen to know from news reports -- I can't avoid completely, it is virtually impossible -- that we picked up Glenn Dorsey. The only reason I know of him at all is that some magazine (was it SI?) had a little thumbnail pic of him and how wonderful he is supposed to be. He damn well better be wonderful now.

Only thing. Well, two things. First, after yesterday looking back at past drafts I'd never seen before, just to get a feel for why we suck so much today, I'd noticed all the D-lineman we'd taken, most of whom ended up being nothing for us. Monty Beisel, Eddie Freeman, Junior Siavvi, all completely forgettable. Then there was Ryan Sims, picked number six overall in '02, who was okay for us for a few years and then, well, nothing meriting the accolades for a number six.

So here's Dorsey, picked at what, number five? I didn't quite catch it when it flashed on the bottom of my TV screen (I'd been watching the NASCAR race at the time, by the way). Will he pan out and join Tamba Hali and Jared Allen to actually make the Chiefs D-line one of the most dominant in the NFL? That would be sweet.

The second thing is this, something not so sweet. What are we going to do with our offense?!?! I don't have a clue as to what the Chiefs have done to maneuver. I actually had a work colleague who knows I like the Chiefs tell me we got rid of our best receiver. She didn't know who it was, only that we got rid of him. Was it Tony Gonzalez? I just don't know--it's too painful for me to know. Even if we got Peyton Manning in that trade, I'm still going to go bananas either wondering what Carl Peterson is doing or getting all excited about something that will ultimately mean diddly.

The critical questions that need to be answered before I pay any deliberate attention to anything Chiefs again -- that's on September 7th -- are these two:

One, do we have a Super Bowl class quarterback, or at least one who will be in the future? (Brodie Croyle? --never mind the stifled laughter there...)

Two, do we have offensive lineman that will block like they mean it? (Larry Johnson's already back there looking for gaps to shoot through...)

If we don't, then that Glenn Dorsey-anchored defensive line had better prevent each team they play from scoring a single point all season.