Colts at Chiefs - Week 16 - Record: 2-13

I don't really hate the Colts -- indeed one of the reasons I do engage in some measure of sports celibacy is because I get tired of hating teams or watching them have all kinds of fortune drop in their laps while we make our home in the most putrid misery.

So again while I don't hate the Colts, they sure are a pain in the ass.

In fact, our fantastic misfortune through the years may not be because of the Curse of Odin's Revenge at all. It may very well be some kind of pukifying Curse of John Unitas or something. Think about it.

Back in 1970 we were the defending Super Bowl champions, and the second ever Monday Night Football game was a 44-24 Chiefs shellacking of the Colts on their field. Some Baltimore witch doctor had to have put the hex on us because we played very inconsistently that year, failed to make the playoffs at all, and watched the Colts run the table and get the NFL championship.

Since then the Colts have done everything within their power to crush us. Remember 1995? We were way better than they were and lost to them at home in that playoff game. Remember 1996? We were way better than they were, holding a 9-5 record, and only needed to beat them at home to clinch a playoff spot, and lost, ultimatly missing the playoffs. Remember 2003? We were at least a bit better than they were and again lost to them at home in that playoff game. Remember 2006? This time they were indeed a bit better than us annnd, we still lost. Remember last year? We hammered them in Indy with one of our best offensive showings (we scored four touchdowns, can you believe it?) and that helped them be really really bad for one year so they could have the chance to get the next Peyton Manning.

See, here's a team that is three years removed from being in the Super Bowl, they suck one single year and as such they get to have Andrew Luck under their Christmas tree and a trip to the postseason yet again.

The Chiefs? They're a few geological eras from being even close to a Super Bowl, about as sucky a team as there can be this year, and what super studly quarterback is waiting under the tree for them this year?

The Colts have a horseshoe with the ends facing up, so all the luck stays in the horseshoe. Their quarterback named Luck today set the rookie record for passing yardage, breaking the record of the first draft pick the previous year, Cam Newton.

Now it's the Chiefs turn to have the NUMBER ONE SELECTED FUTURE HALL-OF-FAME QUARTERBACK IN THE DRAFT to lead the Chiefs to Super Bowl glory next year and for many many many years to come.

Yeah, right.

Well, thinking more and more about this team, I just don't think our talent is really that bad, except at quarterback. Again, it is something I've shared a bazillion times before, and something every single Chiefs fan knows. It is simply two key things, in no particular order.

We're so poorly coached.

Our quarterback is terrible.

To wit, in today's game we ran all over the Colts defense. Jamaal put up 200+. Peyton Hillis added another 100+. We had the most rushing offense of any team in any NFL game this year -- what a great showing by our O-line. Brady Quinn even made some nice completions. Our defense played their hearts out. We stuffed their running game and kept Luck in check for most of the game. Our fine defensive game plan was actually executed well, letting their bunched up receivers get into their routes before picking them up, frustrating their whole passing game.

But when it came right down to it, what happened has been happening all year long and it is indeed all on the quarterback and the coach.

We didn't finish.

Quinn had three interceptions on the day, and even though it was technically two, one of them was called back for a phantom pass interference call on them, so it was really three. That's all on the quarterback.

When we needed some ganas down close to the goal line we had none. We fumbled the ball, we got stupid penalties, we couldn't get an easy first down late on third-and-short and fourth-and-really-short, giving them the opportunity to zip down the field, get a clutch last minute touchdown, and win the game. That's all on the coaching.

Think about it. In the last three games we've scored two touchdowns. One was an 80-yard romp by Jamaal to open the Browns game, the other was an 86-yard romp by Jamaal today. That's it. Thing is, all of the other games not-against-Carolina it's been pretty much the same. We're almost at the rarified air of a minus-200 point differential on the year, a threshold the Chiefs have never reached and few teams ever do.

So since it's deep into the Christmas season, I thought I'd share my wishes for the Christmas gifts I'd like to see under the tree for the three gentlemen responsible for all this.

Clark Hunt - Football.

Yes, you saw that right, football. Not a football, not any football item, just football.

It starts at the very top, and I'm sorry, but from from what I see -- and it isn't much, granted, but it is some -- from what I see, I just can't understand how this guy is really that inept. I mean, are the Chiefs suffering from some transgenerational punishment brought about by his grandfather's bigamy? I mean, I just can't figure it out.

The Hunts seem to have been respected throughout pro football. They seem to have done all they can to be a key part of the success of the NFL. They seem to have done all the right things in the community and providing through charity and all that. They seem to have gone above and beyond to make sure Arrowhead is a fine place to watch football. They seem to have worked their tails off doing all the things to make the business a justifiably thriving one.

And Clark seems to be a fine owner holding the reigns of all of this gooditude.

So what gives?

Well, it may just be that one intangible that I think plagued his dad, too. And that is this.

He just doesn't know football.

Oh he knows football is a terrific sport and he knows about how the game is played and he pays his players to do football-oriented things but you know what I think?

I just don't think he knows football.

So for Christmas I wish Clark would get football. He has got to find a way to surround himself with people wholly committed to Chiefs excellence long-term, but just as importantly those people have got to be extraordinarily football-wise people who really know football and can furthermore get him to know it. This isn't just management personnel doing the football business, this is an inner circle of the most trusted confidants who aren't just advisors but in a very real sense teachers.

I think he did his damndest to get the guy we all thought would be our savior, Scott Pioli, but something tells me he just didn't know football enough to insightfully recognize he wasn't the guy. Now I'm going to talk about Pioli in a minute, but for now: remember when Lamar just let Jack Steadman run things, and what a mess the Chiefs were for most of his tenure? I'm sorry, but this is looking a lot like that because Clark just isn't getting the football of things.

He can still do everything well he's doing as an owner, and he doesn't have to be in the mix of making direct football decisions, he doesn't really have to do much at all except just - know - football so that when he's got to do whatever ownership things he has to do to make the Chiefs great he'll know what the hell he's doing up there.

Scott Pioli - A head coach and accompanying coaching staff who will get this team to the promised land.

I know many think Pioli is as good as gone, and he could be. If he is I won't be weeping too much. But just to put in a good word for the guy, I really think his catastrophic 2009 draft has been the touchstone for this disaster and has always made him look bad. No excuses at all for that, but it seems the last three drafts have been pretty decent.

The problem is in the coaching. This teams needs a full staff who really knows what they're doing about getting this team to play to its potential and above all, to finish.

And don't get me wrong, if we can't get that leadership because of Pioli, then he definitely has got to go. Because, really, as much as we so so so so so need that quarterback, we really need that head coach just as much.

As critically important as building the team and showcasing our skill sets and establishing a high standard of play-calling excellence and finishing, all the quality aspects of fine coaching, I'm looking forward to a coach who's coaching a Chiefs team that is playing with the highest level of discipline.

It's not just the stupid mistakes, but it's the insipid little celebrating they do over the piddlest little achievements. I'm not saying they shouldn't be playing at an elevated emotional level, that's great. The problem is, quite frankly, you don't deserve to be spouting off when you're 2-13. Play hard, keep your head up, fire off your marks, and genuinely appreciate one another's contributions. But the Chiefs don't really know how to reign it in. All that silly stuff the Chiefs players do on the field just makes everything Chiefs look so pathetically lame.

We are in such need of a kick-in-the-ass guy whom the players respect, and if we don't get that guy, then get ready for many more years of misery, Chiefs fans.

Romeo Crennel - The very best Christmas-time and all other-times spent with his family and friends, and of course all the Chiefs players he once at one time in the past coached.

I mean that in the most sincere terms. Romeo Crennel is a fantastic individual, the players love him -- they even lobbied to get him to be the permanent head coach. He was a phenomenally strong rock, even a father figure some said, when the Jovan Belcher horror occurred. And he does try really, really hard to make the Chiefs a good football team. For all this he should be awarded all the accolades that he is due.

But he cannot coach a pro football team that hopes to contend.

Last year when I watched him brilliantly coach the team in their win over the undefeated Packers I really did hope he could do that on a regular basis. But then I watched him work the Raiders game and just knew in my heart it wasn't to be.

This team is making too many mistakes and is doing too much to demonstrate they don't know what's going on out there for us to be convinced he can coach an NFL team. Sure a lot of it is the quarterback, but there is so much awfulness happening having nothing to do with the quarterback.

Think about it, whoever we get to be quarterback next year -- especially if it is some highly drafted young phenom (oh we can only hope) in need of the most expertly nurturing development -- come on, would you really put him in the hands of these guys?

This is why it is critically imperative:

We have got to get the very best bright extraordinarily respected head coach out there.

And yes, it all starts with Clark.

Get the football.
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