There is not only no Chiefs playoff game today, but there are two other things the Chiefs do not have today, a scant one week after the end of the 2012 regular season.
Romeo Crennel and Scott Pioli.
Crennel was fired straight away on Monday, and as such became this year's fired Chiefs coach. You might recall Todd Haley had that honor last year. The Chiefs went out and snapped up Andy Reid who'd been fired by the Eagles, and as usual I just don't know what to think about this. I pay the littlest attention to any of it, but what I know is this.
Positive: He led the Eagles through one of its greatest periods of success, the early 2000's, even reaching the Super Bowl one of those years. Negative: He was just fired from a team I'd been hearing was abysmal this year -- how much of that was Reid? Again, I really work hard not to know stuff that'll get me to think this guy is just a hopeless retread, because there is still that part of me deep inside that reeeally wants Clark to go down deep somewhere and get the guy he knows is the next Bill Walsh. Except that would require him to know football.
Again, I only say this not to disrespect Clark at all -- I mean, hey, maybe Clark is taking care of the business he needs to, maybe because of his record of success with the Eagles Reid can be the leader we so desperately need and get the coaching job done that so needs to be done here. So as it is we just need to wait and see.
The Chiefs took a bit longer to let Pioli go, this inevitability being finalized Friday. All I can think about regarding Scott was two things: 2009 draft, and the most tepid front office leadership. When he came in everyone was high on him remaking the Chiefs in the champion calibur Patriots mold. Except that Pioli was just really bad at it. It is sad because as it looks, for now, his 2010, 2011, and 2012 drafts actually look pretty decent.
But oh that 2009 draft. Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch. It seemed he thought he'd oh-so-cleverly turn the tables on everyone and get whoever he thought would just be Chiefs studs, and it was an unmitigated catastrophe.
1st round: Tyson Jackson -- What are you doing? Everyone knew he shouldn't have been picked that high, and Jackson has been predictably mediocre at best, far from what a No. 3 pick overall has got to give a franchise. We simply didn't get the guy who could've really been beast for us and instead have a guy who's done work any decent free agent could've been doing.
2nd round: pick traded for Matt Cassel -- My brother back east, a New England follower, was the first to tell me -- above the hopeful din of all Chiefs fans -- that this guy was just not that good. I was really really really hoping he was wrong. We all thought he was during the 2010 season when he played way over his head with a healthy team going against a weak schedule. Then came the final game that year against the Raiders and the playoff game against the Ravens and the emperor was seen with absolutely no clothes on. Too bad Pioli didn't notice because the last two years have been quarterback hell for the Chiefs.
3rd to 6th round: a bunch of nobodies. I really don't think any of those guys played a single down for the Chiefs. (I'm sure they did but I don't remember.) I don't even know any of their names right now.
7th round: last pick of them all Ryan Succop -- This guy sometimes makes amazing field goals, but other times -- like way too many times this year -- he completely doinks easy ones. "What a great player this Mr. Irrelevant is!" is what I've always heard, but after this year, he's scaring me.
One rotten draft, especially one as utterly disasterous as this one was, can kill a general manager.
At this point I don't know what the Chiefs are doing with their personnel manager. Are they bringing in some seasoned guy? I think I'd heard somewhere Bill Polian was going to help out. Is Andy Reid doing it? I try not to pay any attention because unless they bring on a resurrected Bill Walsh, something about it will just make me mad.
As it is, I want to commence my year-end feature, the best and the worst of past Chiefs seasons. I will tell you that I've finally started reading Michael MacCambridge's biography of Lamar Hunt. It is thoroughly engaging and I've discovered some interested things, but not really substantive enough to see what's what with the history of the Chiefs. I've got lots of reading to do yet.
It is that history -- 50 years worth this year -- that is the occasion for the first episode, this one "Top Five Worst Seasons - Playoff Runs (Or Lack Thereof)" I had thought, what were the absolute worst seasons in Chiefs history, but I realized a few of them were how shocked we were by playoff losses. The regular season itself may have been splendid -- but then we went into the playoffs. As you can easily see, all of the following are pukifying one-and-out affairs after their prospects were the most promising.
So without further ado, here are Dave Beck's
Top Five Worst Kansas City Chiefs Seasons - Playoff Run (Or Lack Thereof) Edition
(And please, feel free to vehemently disagree. But I do think your own assessment will be pretty close.)
5. 1968
The Chiefs had roared to a 12-2 record, yet their arch rival Raiders did exactly the same leading to a playoff game that had the Raiders shredding the Chiefs 41-6. Because I was too young to know anything about this game first-hand I can't offer any emotional connection to the loss, but that it was to the Raiders and we'd been beaten so badly I can't imagine how this couldn't make the top five list.
4. 1994
We'd started off wonderfully, keeping up our fine play heading to another playoff appearance. I remember beating Bill Belichick's Browns and feeling good about our chances when we suffered two stunningly crushing, very close losses to the Seahawks and Broncos. We barely got into the playoffs after a nifty final regular season victory over the Raiders in Los Angeles, which was Joe Montana's last win of his career.
But in Miami our three best players made critical errors to keep us from having a solid chance to win. Montana himself threw a terrible interception when we were at the Miami two-yard line. Marcus Allen allowed a Miami defender to just take the ball right out of his arms after a good catch for good yardage. And Derrick Thomas committed an awful defensive holding call on a Miami 3rd-and-long when we really needed the ball back. The final score: 27-17, and it was actually much closer than that.
3. 1995
We'd rocketed to a 13-3 regular season record and faced a very mediocre Colts team at home when Marty Schottenheimer had one of his worst postseason coaching meltdowns (and that's saying something). All the bogging down our offense did was inexplicable except that he just never had it in him to win playoff games.
There was no reason Lin Elliot should have had to have the opportunity to miss those three field goals, but then I wasn't surprised thinking back to the time when I thought, "Hmm, we're picking up Lin Elliot who Jimmie Johnson of the Cowboys summarily fired after he messed up too many times -- nah, there's just no way Elliot's going to cost us any major game." Well, Lin, the third worst Chiefs playoff loss, here's to you. Final score: 10-7, and I still ::whimper:: every time I see that number combination.
2. 1997
This playoff game was so ugly and so wrenching that it could've easily been No. 1 on the list. The only reason it isn't is because we all know what No. 1 is.
How many awful awful awfully awful things were there about this game. From the minute referee Jerry Markbreit took the field I just knew. In fact, I did what I did with Lin Elliot: "Jerry Markbreit has been such a killer ref to us, there's just no way he could be that to us today. It just ain't happenin'." It happened.
The Broncos put illegal substances on their jerseys to gain a clear advantage at the line of scrimmage, and were allowed to totally get away with it. There was the thoroughly cheap holding penalty on a made Pete Stoyanovich field goal (think about it, how many times is anyone called for holding on a field goal attempt) that required him to kick it again only to have it bonk off the upright. That was so critical because we ended up losing 14-10.
We could have even won the thing in the last seconds when we were close to the Broncos goal line, if only Elvis had hit Kimble Anders in the flat instead of throwing that easily swatted-away duck. That was about as painful as it can get, except for...
1. 1971
One of the worst playoff losses any team could ever have to endure, that record long overtime affair that forever jabs at the hearts of anyone affectionately connected to the Chiefs. This was probably, man-for-man, an even better Chiefs team than the '69 team that won it all. We were not only better than the Dolphins, but we played better than the Dolphins and had chance after chance after chance to win the thing.
In fact, we were too good. The reason is because one of the key plays that killed us was a wonderfully designed fake field goal run that went awry because snapper Bobby Bell thought kicker Jan Stenarud didn't get the call because he looked so good at pretending like he was really going to try to kick the field goal instead. So Bell snaps it for the field goal when everyone else is preparing for the fake-out play, and of course everything gets messed up, Jan misses the field he wasn't supposed to be kicking, and, well...
I didn't see every single thing in the game that day because it was Christmas day and as a ten year-old boy I was playing with all my cousins at my uncle's house. But I do remember one haunting image, I'll never forget it. After Ed Podolak had already had one of the greatest single-game performances in NFL history, he still went crazy on Miami running that punt back in overtime, all the way down the sideline deeeep into Miami territory. Of course again the impossible followed, Stenarud missing another field goal that would have won the game.
Instead the Dolphins took it 27-24, another of those number combinations when put together just make any inveterate Chiefs fan grimace. The greatest irony is that if we'd won, and gone on to beat Baltimore the next week, we'd have faced Dallas in the Super Bowl.
I could think of a dozen other things to say about each one. If I had some time I may do some more research and flesh these out sharing other items of note. Yeah, I know, why -- they're all so depressing. But hey, we've got to commiserate. Us Chiefs fans are so used to it. To a large extent it's all we got.
But because it is so tough to take I'm going to avoid doing any honorable mentions with this piece. Some may bring up 1992's ridiculous shutout loss to the Chargers, or 2003's shocking loss to the Colts when we just barely could not keep up with Peyton Manning, or any of a few others. See, that's one of those things that is just as depressing, how few playoff appearances we even have to choose from. We'll be getting to the worst Chiefs seasons overall in two weeks, but next week it'll be fun.
Next week since we'll still not be in the playoffs, I plan to put down what I think are the five best Chiefs seasons in their 50 year history. It hasn't been all awful through the years. So until then...
Yay Clark for getting Andy Reid who'll find a way to get us a good quarterback so we'll win for once...!
Yay!
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