Wouldn't you know that Derrick Johnson's Achilles heel injury against -- yes, if you remember, against the Raiders back on December 8 -- was such a profound symbol of the Chiefs as a team through the ages. Not only was that injury itself one of those crushing blows you just knew would come back to hurt us, and it did against Pittsburgh --
It is emblematic of everything Chiefs.
We are the Greek tragedy of pro football. You do know that, being a Chiefs fan.
In fact, this Kansas City Chiefs unit is such a fine pro football team that they are just like the Greek hero Achilles. They have everything going well for them, strong and wise in every facet of the game, winning game after game after game...
Except that they have that heel.
And sure enough, any time they get into the playoffs when they can truly show the world how strong and wise and talented and clutch they are, that heel kills them.
Every single time.
Please, there has been no other time. None. At least since the merger -- I know we won the Super Bowl once, yeah -- but since then, there's only been that heel.
What about last year, that wonderful playoff game win over Houston? Ahem, let's just be ruthlessly honest: that Texans team was tired, they had no quarterback, and their premiere defensive player was ailing. What about the time before that when we won, against the Oilers in 1994? That team was a catastrophe waiting to implode, and their dysfunction was exposed in the last quarter of that game when the Chiefs easily put them away. What about the Steelers win just before that? We were down 24-17 late and needed a miracle play ourselves and then one last display of Joe Montana magic just to eek out a win. What about the win over the Raiders two years before? Um, we were playing against Todd Marinovich -- need I say more? And we barely won that game.
Annnd, right there are our successes.
That's it.
Two 21-year playoff win droughts -- two of them. Yes, I'd love to regale you with all the horrors, but it's been done, we all know what they are, but for sure they do make the tragedy especially gruesome. Sure there're four wins, joined by 15 losses. That is just unfathomable. Another of these most wretched figures is the ratio of playoff appearances to AFC Championship Game appearances. I painstakingly looked at all the numbers for AFC teams, and sure enough, my hypothesis was proven.
The Chiefs are statistically the worst team in the AFC (and likely the entire NFL) in making their conference's Championship Game since the merger.
See, it really should be the case that teams good enough to make the playoffs should be reasonably successful once there, at least often enough. The hypothesis, statistically speaking, is that a given team should at least reach its conference's championship game a quarter to a third of those times. Some teams may have a bit more going for it, the Patriots, the Steelers, while others don't -- the Chiefs.
Without further ado, here're the numbers:
Out of 47 AFC seasons since the merger (ranked by "winning percentage"-- again: times going to the AFC Championship Game for times making the playoffs)
Oakland 11 for 18 .611
New England 13/23 .565
Pittsburgh 16/29 .551
Denver 10/22 .454
Baltimore 4/10 .400 (in 21 years of AFC play)
Buffalo 5/13 .385
New York 4/12 .333
Jacksonville 2/6 .333 (in 22 years of AFC play)
Baltimore/Indianapolis 7/22 .318
San Diego 4/13 .308
Miami 7/23 .304
Cleveland 3/11 .273
Houston/Tennessee 4/16 .250
Cincinnati 2/14 .143
Kansas City 1/14 .071
Houston 0/4 .000 (in 15 years of AFC play)
Yes, Houston hasn't made it but they've been around for only 15 years. For the Chiefs it's been once in 47 years. And they lost that one. I just didn't take the time to do this for the NFC, but I did look at the one team easily considered to be most moribund, and that was Detroit. They have a ratio of 1 to 11, for a percentage of .090.
Still better than the Chiefs.
What this number says is something I'd simply like to spend some time addressing. I'm blogging here on the weekend when we should finally be playing in an AFC Championship Game but aren't, mostly just to do the annual therapy that needs to be done being a Chiefs fan. We all need the therapy at this time, and I have some time this weekend and just feel like pounding out some thoughts that have been ravaging my psyche all week.
I know a blog is supposed to be a series of much more brief posts, and that'd work fine if I actually had the time during the week. Today is a day off, a Saturday, and I have all the time now to spill my guts now. As it is there is indeed so much in my noggin that perhaps I won't get it all done right now, and may have to continue later. That's cool. There're a whole two weeks of Chiefs-less football yet again to do that, so we'll see.
For now, quickly, thank you for your readership and your indulgence, and I only hope that the things you enjoy reading here will help with the therapy. Don't worry, I have many genuinely encouraging things in the mix of my take, so it won't be completely depressing.
To start, I will tell you I'm getting really tired of hearing the standard, "Whull the Chiefs just didn't do enough to win, they didn't deserve it." I even found myself sharing that rote sentiment in my post-game post last week. I kinda went back and saw that I'd done that, yet reviewed how this team played -- indeed I looked back at how the team played in every playoff game they've been in since '70 -- and thought, ya know?
That's crap.
The fact is, there's just something else, and the 1-in-14 ratio says a ton about that.
In and around that inglorious state of affairs I discovered that 13 times in the 39 years since the 16-game schedule started in 1978 (excepting strike-shortened 1982) teams with fewer than 12 wins (as the Chiefs had in 2016) got into the AFC Championship Game and won it. That is, 13 sub-12-win-season teams went to the Super Bowl. 21 times teams with fewer than 12 wins at least got in but lost. Of 76 AFC Championship Game slots (since '78), 34 have been filled by teams with fewer than 12 wins. There were even about a half-dozen appearances by teams with 9-7 records!
Now yes, I understand that several other teams with 12 or more wins have not made it to their respective conference championship games, I get that. It's just...
What is it with the Chiefs never being able to do it???
The Chiefs have had 12 or more wins four times in their history and each of those times they lost the very first playoff game they had. There have been five times the Chiefs played a divisional playoff game at home -- '71, '95, '97, '03, and now '16. During the regular season of those years, the Chiefs were 37-2. People like to point out how in their three 13-3 seasons they had perfect home records, but you must remember that they had a perfect 7-0 record at Municipal in '71 -- then lost to the Dolphins. Their only two losses were this year, those against Tampa Bay and Tennessee.
Still.
37-2 at home, regular season.
0-5 in the Divisional Playoff Games.
Sorry, but that - just - does - not - happen.
It just does not happen unless there are forces at work that deliberately make that happen. Yes, I am going to get into the supernatural, just some of my thoughts anyway, but bear with me. I will, however, also get into the mechanics of the things happening out there on the football field and the things going on in the front office that with my very limited and perhaps I confess a bit stultified perspective, I see are messing with the Kansas City Chiefs in a major way. Again, if you're one to just outright dismiss this perspective, then I understand. But I hope you'll continue reading, if only for the therapy. Hey, I'm just a mild-mannered but passionate Chiefs fan too.
One of the things I'd been doing to soften the blow of experiencing another idiotic chain of football game events derailing yet another Chiefs shot at the AFC title was to re-read C.S. Lewis' book The Silver Chair. I'm not going to get into all the exposition, but I encourage you to read it as I do any of Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia books. Yes, it is written for children, but it is a wonderful Christian allegory and delightfully awakens the imagination.
Two key parts to note here. One, the character Puddleglum is a very cynical individual, and I fancy him to be quite like I am. I am cynical to the point of often seeing the worst in things, but I only do so to get to a point of identifying truthful things. I liken my blogging here to what Puddleglum does to get at the reality of things.
Two, the plot device related to Prince Rilian. It is a simple one for the purposes of this post about Chiefs things.
He is under a spell.
He is under a spell put there by a powerful underworld entity who wants to use him for her nefarious ends, and it is the task of Puddleglum and his companions to rescue him, to free him from the grip of that spell.
I'm sorry, but the Chiefs somehow come under the influence of some spell every time they face a decent challenge in a playoff game. For the past couple years I have actually worked real hard to deliberately avoid the use of "a curse" language, of "bad luck" language, simply because it is so awkward, so grievous, so -- here's a good one from the thesaurus -- vexatious.
I do bring it up here because I can't help but notice. I noticed it last Sunday -- I just did! I'm not going to sugar-coat it. When you looked into their eyes there whenever you could, when they were on the sideline, through their helmets -- the camera shot just allowing you to behold their souls bared -- you could just tell... I'm sorry I could tell!
The Kansas City Chiefs just looked like they were under that spell.
I knew it because I could see it in the eyes of any Chiefs participant all the other past playoff games. All of them.
It's that spell that just has them thinking there is nothing they can do to avoid the fate that is in store for them. Sorry, but it was just there, you could see it, and it is brutal. It is brutal over and over and over again, every single time we have these playoff games. And sorry, if you're a Chiefs fan who is honest with yourself, you have to admit you see it too.
We all watch amazing phenomenally talented exceptionally gifted hard-working having all kinds of got-it players -- Eric Berry and Marcus Peters and Justin Houston and Jeremy Maclin and Travis Kelce and Alex Smith and Dontari Poe and Eric Fisher and Spencer Ware -- and of course sharp astute insightful amazing coaches Andy Reid and Bob Sutton and Matt Nagy -- and of course so many other Chiefs terrific-football-people-in-so-many-ways -- these are incredibly good Chiefs people who should easily be winning games like the one on Sunday except that... You know what -- I could tell as I had so many times before -- you know it...
There was just that thing, that spell. Their expression, their demeanor, their composure -- I'm sorry but it was there. Please, nothing about them as players or people, they're wonderful as far as I can tell, but it's just that dread that that idiotic thing is going to happen to contemptibly derail all their extremely hard work. And it only comes upon them in the playoffs. Regular season? They're world-beaters. Post-season? I've written a number of times before, it's like every Chiefs player goes through some portal into which their strengths dissipate and their weaknesses distend.
Now, what are the elements of that spell? Really, what are they?
I've already racked my brain trying to think of what Lamar Hunt could have possibly done way back in the day, what??? I actually think, did he sell his (and his team's) soul to the devil the night before Super Bowl IV just so he could win that game, at least that one, in order to get back at that Minnesota team for so viciously dissing him when they'd promised to be a founding member of the AFL? I actually wonder, I do. And please know, I don't for a second believe Hunt actually did that, but I still think it, this kind of thing bumps around in the back of my head as I try to figure out something.
Thing is, the Chiefs that year, 1969, were truly one of the very best teams ever, they really were. Hunt simply would not have had to do anything so silly to afflict his future team in such a way. They were already going to easily beat the Vikings that day. Did you know that there are nine Hall-of-Famers from that one Chiefs team, do you? Do you know only the Packers of the 60's and the Steelers and Cowboys of the 70's have more, and only by a couple more Hall-of-Famers each? Not the 49ers, not the Redskins, not the Broncos or Raiders or Giants -- yes a team like the Patriots will likely get a few but that's for later.
No, the Chiefs had nine Hall-of-Famers from that team, and no team has ever had more defensive player Hall-of-Famers, none. Yet, only one Super Bowl win. So yeah, I could just as easily say we should've had more, what a rip-off! Look at the Packers Steelers Cowboys they had a bunch!
But sure enough, there it is, and the very valid point that follows is that the Chiefs have been such a good team in every one of those games that they should have had several more playoff wins.
Again, there is that detractor: "Shaddup ya whiner! Ya lost."
How, though, can I make the legitimate case for more Chiefs wins that weren't? See, I can understand when the team is just not as good as they should be to win. Really, losses to the Bills in '91, Colts in '06, and Ravens in '10 are prime examples of this. But what about in years like 2013 when we had, I believe if I'm not mistaken, nine players go to the Pro Bowl? In years like 2016 when we had a high strength of schedule -- a 2nd place team schedule -- and we played in the very competitive AFC West, even going 6-0 there? That's not enough?
Over the past few years the Chiefs have soundly defeated each of the last Super Bowl winning teams in the regular season: New England, Seattle, and Denver, each team with pretty much the same bunch that won the Super Bowl, the Chiefs winning with pretty much the same bunch we have right now. You can even throw in our win this year over last year's Super Bowl runner-up Carolina to augment the impact.
There are so many evidences about how good these Chiefs teams were that should mean at least a few definitively demonstrative playoff wins here over these many years. There simply has to be some times when teams like these actually win playoff games against tough teams.
I'm boldly positing that the Chiefs don't because they just look like they're psyched out, like they're under some spell. And again, I am convinced that something happened, something something something happened after Hank Stram was hoisted on that overcast New Orleans January day in 1970.
You may shrug off "supernatural" as merely comprising the realm of the ethereal other-worldly type stuff, but it also means the insane things people do out of their own pride to affect football field activity. Look at what Stram himself did after SB IV. Every Chiefs fan knows how much his hubris contributed to the unraveling of the team beginning in the early 70's. And who can refuse to grimace every instance where Hunt's distractions kept him making the wrong moves over and over again (hiring and staying with John Mackovic for so long, firing Marv Levy when he should've kept him way longer ::groan::)
See, these are all part of the supernatural influences that hammer the Kansas City Chiefs -- that's a big part of the spell.
How in blazes does that carry over into what continued to happen last Sunday?
Well, let me get back to the key thread I want to emphasize in all of this.
The Chiefs were good enough to win last Sunday. And they should have.
Think about this now. What is this game going to go down as? What is it -- you know.
The Eric Fisher Hold Game.
Should we review all the "Games"? ::Deep breath:: The Christmas Day Overtime Game The Dave Szott Hold Game The Joe Montana Concussion Game The Player Who Shall Not Be Named (Lin Elliot) Game The Elvis Grbac (and not Rich Gannon) Game The No Punts Game The Criminal Indianapolis Turf Taking Out All Our Good Players One By One Game...
Sometimes these games are known by the weather -- there was the classic "Ice Bowl" Packers-Cowboys game from '67. How about the Chiefs? That super cold game against Indianapolis in '95? I mention this because this year when that ice storm had Kansas City right in the its center on the exact day of our playoff game, I do confess that yes, again, I thought, what is going on here? I simply could not help but think of the supernatural -- are we trying to be told something? Because this can't be happening.
No other NFL team ever ever ever has this many of these kinds of Games, with the special names, unless of course they're "The Catch" or "The Immaculate Reception". (::Whimper:: That we'd have any games like those. ::Sigh::)
Okay, back to The Game That Will Unfortunately Very Likely Be Heretofore Known As The Eric Fisher Hold Game -- sorry, but the game didn't turn on Eric Fisher's hold. It really didn't. And again, it didn't turn on any particular thing the Chiefs didn't do or did do poorly. Don't worry, I will get to the reasonable Chiefs inadequacies in a bit.
But this is about the officiating, and the specifics of how the Chiefs were robbed again by lousy officiating. It is indeed almost as if we're being punished by some witch doctor Raiders fans who didn't like that the refs missed Otis Taylor being out-of-bounds on that amazing catch in the '69 AFL Championship Game.
Sure some will say the officiating helps or hurts both teams evenly, that the calls even out, really, and this is an above-it-all, noble thing to say -- except when it is the critical calls that always rock the Chiefs. Even so, when the Chiefs do win a playoff game, I don't want to win on a crappy call that goes our way!
In some ways, this is one of the great virtues of being a Chiefs fan. We're still going to be rooting for a team that will win only when it is earned on the merits. The 1997 Broncos can hoist a trophy and have their name in the record books as NFL champions that year, but the Chiefs still know Denver's offensive linemen willfully and extraordinarily illegally smeared petroleum jelly all over their jerseys in that Divisional Game and the officials stopped the game and allowed them given time to wipe it off. No time-outs, no penalties, no nothing.
So again, everyone is going to rail on Eric Fisher, but they shouldn't. Bless the Chiefs players, coaches, and fans, they really aren't doing that. They know better. They know that even in understanding it could be considered a legitimate holding penalty, that's fine, it was still a major sell-job by James Harrison, and the truth is flops do work often enough in sports.
Then there're the number of holds the Steelers offensive line had against the Chiefs throughout the game. How many did you see that could've easily been called? 17? 18? At least? Those refs call one of them against the Steelers and Le'Veon Bell doesn't get that long run - the Steelers don't get that 1st down in that drive - they don't get into field goal range - they don't get a sixth field goal and ultimate the margin for the win.
Were there holding calls that could've gone against the Chiefs? Maybe, but they wouldn't have made as much of a difference to the Chiefs. Remember, the Chiefs didn't even score a point on five straight drives, so the refs could've called five holds and it wouldn't have mattered.
But it would have mattered if they'd called even one or two against the Steelers. Spencer Ware's runs were not as major as Bell's, so bringing back one of Bell's runs on a holding call would've had a much greater impact.
And of course that is a huuuge part of this, that the calls like these are waaay huger to the Chiefs than they are to their opponents. That one holding call they make, the one against Fisher, was a crusher. Don't call any holds the Steelers used to spring Bell, but call that one on Fisher when we can least afford it...
And the thing is this is the way it is in every playoff game the Chiefs have. Is it just coincidence? Does it just happen to happen that way, just because? I really don't think so, I really don't, and I don't think there is a single Chiefs fan who does.
I so much want to continue this thread, get more into the details of the game, the process, the eventualities, the criminalities, and yes, the standard but very necessary revisitation of The Quarterback Project, but as I figured this is a lot, and I've run out of time today. It'll be a series, but I may have time tomorrow, and next weekend also, to continue the therapy.
Thanks for joining me. Until then...
Go Chiefs! (For next year...)
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